Part of me really wants to hold off on this review until July… so that we can celebrate Christmas in July, but I’m not sure I can wait that long. I also know for darn tootin’ I can’t wait until the actual Holiday season… and I know it’s only April and that no one in their right mind is thinking about the Holiday season right now… because we are all enjoying the warmer weather and thoughts of summer (even though here in Minnesota there is totally still snow on the ground in some places). So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I apologize in advance for any unwanted holiday feels my review of the Rocks-Off Joycicle may give you.
But, even through I’m reviewing this “out of season” I still love looking at this toy (to be fair, I think it may have been just after Christmas when Rocks-Off sent this out to me…). It is like a snowy, winter wonderland all wrapped up in a vibrator and I love it. About 95% of the reason that I wanted this vibrator was because it reminder me a heck of a lot of the icicle ornaments my Grandma would hang on her Christmas tree every year. I kind of don’t even care if this toy works or if it’s a piece of utter crap… the nostalgia factor alone is doing it for me. I’ll happily display the Joycicle on my desk every Christmas, just to get a smile out of it. Okay… sure… I could just find an ornament just like Grandma’s and use that… but I’m also kind of a pervert, so having a vibrator displayed as “decor” is pretty on brand for me. YOU CAN’T CHANGE ME! I AM WHAT I AM!
The Rocks-Off Joycicle is a lovely little vibrator that is roughly palm sized… maybe more accurately it is the bottom of my palm to my first knuckle of my middle finger sized… but that’s a bit of a mouthful. If you are the kind of person who likes their measurements in actual number, the Joycicle is something like 4.5 inches in total length while the base is a chunky, easy to grip, 4.5 inches total girth. The tapered shaft of the Joycicle is just barely (if I round up) 2 inches in total girth and the entire toy is made from a hard plastic and glossy plastic. The shape of the toy is very reminiscent of an icicle, with its silvery spiraled tip. Although… if you are adverse to reading any more holiday cheer into this toy than necessary, you could also think of it as more of a fancy unicorn horn (and in fact… Rocks-Off does make this toy in a version it calls the Unihorn Stardust). The swirly design around the shaft gives the toy a very light texture and is kind of pleasurable when I rub it up and down the length of my clit and beyond while the tapered tip of the toy works well for pin point stimulation.
The Joycicle comes in three different colors: blue (which is what is featured in this review), red, and purple. All three color variations feature a shiny metallic finish that graduates into a festive, wintery, silver tip. Around the cap (or base, however you want to look at it) of the toy is a decorative garland of what looks like hearts, stars and snowflakes. Honestly, the whole toy really does scream Christmas to me… although I’m pretty sure it is perfectly acceptable to use this vibrator at any time of year…. unless you are the sort who just says “bah humbug” to anything fun and festive (and in which case, be on the look out for a visit from three spirits later tonight…).
As it seems to be with most of Rocks-Off vibrators, the Joycicle is battery powered and requires a single AAA battery to use. Thankfully, the vibrator did arrive with a AAA battery already inserted and ready to go… I have both no patience nor extra batteries lying around, so a toy that is prepped and ready to go gets a big thumbs up from me. Also, like most Rocks-Off battery powered toys, you will need to unscrew the base of the toy (the big chunky, bulbous bit) and remove a small circle of paper from the battery chamber. Once you’ve done that, just screw the top back on and you are ready to rock and roll. Oh, one more thing I should note about the battery… when you are screwing on base back on, don’t over tighten it… doing this seems to cause the toy to not work. I ended up borrowing batteries from three different vibrators I had on hand, thinking I was just getting one bad battery after another, until I had my Stunt Cock see if he could sort out the problem for me… turns out I was just tightening the cap too tight… so you will need to have a gentle hand when screwing it back on (insert some joke about a ‘gentle screw’ here).
Operating the Rocks-Off Joycicle is about as easy as operating any other Rocks-Off vibrator. On the bulbous base of the toy is a single silicone button with a raised Rocks-Off logo (so its hard to miss) that will control the whole kit and caboodle. To turn the Joycicle on, simply press and hold the button until the toy begins to vibrate. When it is time to turn the toy back off again, just repeat this same step… press and hold and the toy will power down. The Rocks-Off Joycicle comes programed with ten vibration functions, of which only three are constant intensities, the other seven are all vibration patterns. To cycle through these ten settings, simply press the button until you’ve reached your desired spot. Because it is a single button operating system, you will have to cycle through all ten settings in order to back down to a previous mode. The quality of the vibration is fairly strong but also borders on buzzy (which is kind of what I’ve come to expect from a Rocks-Off battery powered vibe). I don’t hate it, I am able to bring myself to orgasm pretty easily with the Joycicle and sometimes (depending on the mood I’m in) I kind of like that strong but buzzy feel some vibrators have (the Hitachi springs to mind here).
I don’t really have a whole lot to say on the topic of the Rocks-Off Joycicle. It is a pretty basic battery powered vibrator that works pretty well for something at its price point. It’s biggest draw (at least in my opinion) is the fun icicle (or unicorn horn if you prefer) shaped body and fun, chrome-like colors. It may not be an exceptional or earth-shattering vibrator, but it sure is a fun one. And although I don’t do a whole lot of masturbation in the tub or shower, the fact that it is waterproof is probably a selling point for many people (being waterproof also makes it a breeze to clean). Overall, I can’t say that I’m disappointed in the Joycicle at all the vibrations aren’t quite as powerful as I usually enjoy and I really wish that there was just one step higher in the constant vibration settings… but it does manage to get the job done, so I guess I can’t complain too much. The tapered tip of this toy also made it fun to use for some sensation play sort of stuff, I used it to tease my partners body, drawing little shapes and writing words with the tip of the toy as it vibrated. I was also able to tease and tickle around his balls and up and down the shaft of his penis… so there is plenty that can be done with this vibrator even if it isn’t super rumbly and wildly powerful! The Rocks-Off Joycicle is definitely something I wouldn’t mind Santa putting into my stocking at Christmas (and yes, I do still believe in Santa Clause, don’t ruin it for me)!
Okay… I have searched through all my trusted online retailers and I have not been able to find the Rocks-Off Joycicle available for purchase anywhere (not even at Rocks-Off itself!). MAAaaaaaybe… just maybe it will be something that starts turning up again during the holiday season? If that is the case, I will pop back over here and update ya’ll with where to nab one. In the meantime though, the Rocks-Off Unihorn Stardust (which is functionally exactly the same, the only difference is the coloration – it’s rainbow!) is available at both Luvoqa and Lovehoney UK!
The Rocks-Off Joycicle was provided to me free of charge by Rocks-Off in exchange for my honest review.