Once upon a time I stumbled across a company by the name of Bad Dragon. A company that specializes in fantasy-themed, quality, silicone sex toys. Each one of their toys offers an impressive range of customization options giving you almost total control over the final product. A sex toy that is nearly unique to you.
I knew I had to work with them, their toys were some of the coolest things I had ever seen. Do you desire a dragon penis? No problem! A magical unicorn strike your fancy, they can do that! So, a few emails later they had set me up with my first review piece: Hanns the Mandrake. Along with the toy they also sent me a bottle of their Cum Lube.
Bad Dragon Cum Lube Bottle
The Cum Lube and I had a rocky relationship in the beginning. I am ejaculate-phobic. Male ejeculate freaks me out, it’s stringy, it’s sticky, it smells funky, it tastes like salty laundry detergent… nope, me and a man’s cum are not BFF’s. But, Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube was interesting, intriguing even. It works like honest-to-god lube, and looks like real ejaculate! It disgusted me, which I think should count as high praise, because I’m only disgusted by the real deal, and Cum Lube seems just as “icky”, thick, and viscous as the real thing.
Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube is a water-based lubricant, which means it can be safely used with any type of material, including all of Bad Dragon’s silicone toys. Also, it’s paraben free, which is awesome! What’s a paraben you ask? It’s a type of preservative that is used in many pharmaceutical and cosmetic products because it’s super cheap, it has fungicidal properties and it’s antibacterial. Sounds alright, until you also see that concentrated amounts of it has been found in breast cancer tissues…. uhhh, yikes! Maybe I’m overly paranoid, but as Mom always said, better safe than sorry!
Used on a sex toy, this stuff feels great. It’s soft, it’s silky, and more importantly, it caused me no irritation. I have several lube brands that are on my no-no list, because they have caused everything to burn and itch, and I was very happy I didn’t have to add the Cum Lube to that list.
I also learned that when using it as a sex toy lube, less is more. I really went hog wild and squirted the stuff all over. I was oozing lube out of my vagina for awhile after I had finished. Leaving slug like cum trails in my panties. So, unless that is what you are going for, go easy on the stuff. Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube is sticky, it’s stringy, and it will make a huge mess. And, unlike most lubes that tend to stay more or less where you put it, Cum Lube wants to drip and run everywhere (again, like the real thing), so it may not be a great lube for any neat freaks out there! It also wants to stick around for a long time, I was trying to scrub it off my hands for ages. But, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because Cum Lube is so slippery things will stay lubricated for quite some time. This is a great lube for extended toy sessions or sex. I noticed that when used as a lube during one of my solo play sessions I was reaching to reapply the lube far less then I do with my average water-based lube.
Cum Lube with the Pleasure Works Maven
The Bad Dragon Cum Lube does have a odor to it, so if you are looking for something completely scent free, this is not it. The smell is not unpleasant though, it sort of reminds me of Nickalodeon Gak, that slime stuff from the 90’s, or maybe a little like Play-Dough. The smell does seem to linger, although not strongly. I got some on my hands before I started writing this, and even after wiping it clean, I can still smell it. It doesn’t bother me though, it’s no worse then a scented lotion.
Beyond just use as a lube, I think this is a great prop item. I think this has great potential for use by cam girls who want to give the illusion of cum play or fake a cream pie, or couples into cuckold play to give the illusion of another man having been there. It also looks enough like real semen that it could be use to enhance the popshot in dirty movies or photos. The possibilities are endless!
So, the big question is do I recommend it? Yes! Even though I hate semen, there is something delightfully enjoyable about the Cum Lube. There is something comforting about knowing this realistic, simulated, ejaculate has come out of a plastic bottle, rather than a real penis. If you are looking for a long lasting lubricant, this is worth a try! If you want to make everything look like its been splooged on, this stuff is for you! Are you in the movie business and want to add some more oomph to your popshots? This stuff will be a life saver for you! Also, Bad Dragon offers cum tubes with most of their dildos, so you wont find a better way to mimic an explosive dragon orgasm. Just remember, it takes a little extra clean up time when the fun is all done.
Want to get your hands on your own bottle of Cum Lube? Head on over to Bad Dragon and pick up a 2 oz bottle for $4.00 or an 8oz bottle for $7.00.
If you are not quite ready for a lube that looks and feels like real semen, it also comes in a clear variety. But, if you are looking for lube that mimics male ejaculate, why would you bother with the clear stuff! Unless maybe you were looking for something to mimic saliva… or maybe female ejaculate, hmmmm…
The Spider-Man Effect!
Realistic Male Ejaculate Cum Lube
Cum Lube was provided free of Charge by Bad Dragon in exchange for my honest review.
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