Dating is tough. First off, you actually have to find enough time to go out and meet people. Then you have to actually talk to people. You have to hope that sparks fly with someone, that you hear bells, you see fireworks… something.
And when you are an 8 foot tall creature built in a laboratory through an ambiguous scientific method consisting of an odd mix of chemistry and alchemy, hideously ugly, yet emotional and sensitive… well, suddenly that dating pool gets even smaller. So, after exhausting all options (including Tinder)… what’s a horny monster to do? Well, clearly the answer is to build a creature as hideously ugly (yet equally as sensitive and emotional) as yourself.
And that is how I imagine the Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein (Frankenstein’s Monster’s Monster?) sleeve came into being. Exhausted by one night stands and rejection, Frankenstein’s Monster decided to say “fuck it” and built himself his own sweet, sweet, lady-monster pussy. Clearly, that is 100% the backstory to this Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein sleeve…
So, anyway… Fleshlights… we all know what they are (unless you live under a rock you have probably encountered the name Fleshlight at the very least…), they are those masturbation sleeves that look like an oversized flashlight on the outside and some kind of human (or monster) orifice on the inside. You can get your Fleshlight modeled after the butts, mouths, and vaginas of many of your favorite porn stars and other fantasy creations (like Frankenstein here). Fleshlight’s are made with a proprietary material they call Real Feel Super Skin, which is a very soft, pliable material that mimics the feel of real human (or monster) skin. I can’t tell you exactly what this proprietary material is made out from, but I do know that it is porous (which most masturbation sleeves seem to be). Fleshlight toys are phthalate free and are made from a non-toxic material, but since the sleeves are porous there is the possibility of it being able to harbor mold, mildew, bacteria, and/or fungus if it is not properly cared for. But don’t let this scare you off, with the right care a Fleshlight has the potential to last you for quite some time, but do discard if you notice any discoloration, rips or tears, or any odd smells coming from your toy.
The Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein Masturbator features a kind of sickly shade of (undead) green flesh… at least it does on the Fleshlight’s website… my Frankenstein arrived in a bright, bubble-gum pink color…which I have no explanation for… I guess my monster is much more recently dead and still has a bit of color left in it compared to the older, deader, model on available for purchase from Fleshlight. The Monster’s Mate also features a set of large, wrinkled (and dare I say inviting) vagina lips and what appears to be some rather intricate stitching make up the pussy of the lady Frankenstein’s monster. The stitching detail is pretty neat and the horror factor is quite awesome and suitably gruesome but it leaves me with a couple of questions… is this monster’s whole genital region made up of multiple pussies Like… were bits and pieces of other dead pussies selected for certain favorable qualities and then stitched together to make one ultra-mega-perfect-pussy? Or are these stitches in place because those who have been putting the Frankenstein vagina through its paces were just so monstrously large the poor thing just can’t handle it and keeps bursting at the seams… thus needing to be repeatedly stitched and stapled back into place? These are serious questions I have. SERIOUS.
Even though the Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein might be a bit… horrific on the outside, we all know that beauty is only skin deep and it’s whats on the inside that counts… right? Frankenstein here has a lot going on inside, combining a mouth watering (penis dribbling) assortment of ridges, bumps, rings and chambers the texture inside of this sleeve is bound to please even the most monstrous of dicks. Every time I review on of the Fleshlight’s I really get to know the various texture elements that Fleshlight offers (there really seems to be a whole science behind them) and what I’ve learned is that the Frankenstein sleeves combines a little bit of the Torrid texture along with some of the best bits of the Lotus texture to create some kind of beautiful, new hybrid texture (Dr. Frankenstein himself would be proud of this piecemeal). Upon insertion into the Frankenstein sleeve you will first encounter a tight entrance passage that merges with the bit of Lotus node texturing, following that the penis will encounter a small chamber filled with a ring of bumps (this sounds like a very cryptic treasure map), pushing on from there you’ll find a bit of ribbing and then from what I understand is a bit of the Torrid texture I mentioned earlier, eventually near the end of the canal the sleeve becomes tighter and all sides of the sleeve are ringed with a pattern of zigzag seams (how very Frankenstein)… did any of that make sense? It’s kind of a “you’ve got to feel it to understand it” sort of situation… my Stunt Cock (who was the one who tested the Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein) read over my description and thought it sounded accurate enough… but if you end up testing this one out for your self and have some more detail to add… please do so in the comments below (I don’t have a penis of my own, so I rely on those of you who do)! Overall, from what I gathered from both reading and listening to my Stunt Cock is that the Frankenstein has a lot of bumps and ridges and is rather tight. This all sounds good to me. My Stunt Cock seemed to enjoy the Frankenstein sleeve a bit more than he did the Alien, the textures were a little less constricting (even though he did say they were tight) and easier for him to push in to and out of.
Unfortunately (because I’m lazy), cleaning a Fleshlight is a bit of a process (it’s not a hard one… just time consuming at points). First you will need to remove the sleeve from its plastic case and flush the insides with warm water. Some of these textured areas seem really hard to get to, so I ended up inserting my hand to kind of gently scrub against some of the textured nodes… the squelching noises of my hand moving around inside the sleeve were fun and made the whole ordeal almost worthwhile. Do not use soap with your Fleshlight sleeve. Let me repeat this, because it’s important… do not was with soap! Soap has the potential to make the sleeve brittle and ruin your fantastic toy. Once you’ve cleaned the sleeve the next step (which is a long one) is to let the toy air dry completely before finally placing it back into it’s plastic case. I found that I was able to gently squeeze out some of the excess water being held in the sleeve which probably helped to speed up the drying process… or maybe it just made me feel like I was doing something constructive (even if it was completely useless). Once dry, a Fleshlight might feel a bit tacky or sticky, if this is the case, just give it a dusting of Fleshlight Renewing Powder (or just use cornstarch if you don’t need the fancy branded stuff). It takes about four to five hours to completely dry a Fleshlight sleeve (at least in our house it does… maybe it goes faster in dryer, warmer, areas) so don’t forget you have it laying around in your bathroom drip drying over the bathtub faucet and invite guests over… because… I’ve almost been there (but I had a flash of panic at just in time and was able to rush the soggy sleeve into a guest free zone of the house)….
Honestly, I don’t think you can really go wrong with buying a Fleshlight. They are kind of go-to when it comes to masturbation sleeves (although my Stunt Cock would argue that Tenga sleeves are far more effective) and have built up a reputation for being a toy of both quality and reasonable affordability. If you are willing to put in the bit of effort to maintain your Fleshlight, then I think it is an excellent and worthwhile purchase, but if you are a hit it and forget it sort of person who likes the ease of jizzing into a sock that you can toss into the wash later… then you might want to look at some of the disposable Tenga masturbation sleeves (like the eggs). If you are a fan of Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, are a horror enthusiast, or just like the look of a little dead and stitched genitalia then the Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein might be something right up your alley. Also, just think about how much fun this sleeve would be to use around Halloween… you can have horror themed masturbation sessions! It is also worth mentioning that the average Fleshlight toy is made to fit a penis that is something like 8.5 inches long with a 7 inch girth… so if you have a very large penis, you may not find the Fleshlight comfortable (the plastic case is what makes the toy restrictive), also if you have a penis that is on the much smaller side, you may find its hard to hit the textured portions of the toy and may not find it super enjoyable and would be better off looking at something like the tenga sleeves, which are a little less restrictive when it comes to size.
Ready to bring home the Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein? Trust me, you want to add this masturbation sleeve to your collection… it’s awesome (at least I think so, I don’t have a penis but I sure love looking at it). You can pick one up directly from Fleshlight themselves!
The Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein was provided to me free of charge by Fleshlight in exchange for my honest review.