On the first day of Blushmas my true love gave to me… a Blush Novelties Rusé Silicone Double Headed Dildo in a pear tree!

Okay, that doesn’t really rhyme… at all… but its the festive spirit in which I belted that out at the top of my lungs while I typed it that counts. Also, before you ask… Blushmas is a totally arbitrary holiday that I just came up with in order to celebrate all things Blush… because I have a lot of Blush toys and I want more Blush toys and I want to recommend to you all the Blush toys… #BLUSHMAS. But for realsies, I have 20 some Blush Novelties reviews already live on my blog… and I have a small army of Blush toys I have yet to get around to reviewing… my vagina has seen a lot of Blush action.  I think I deserve a t-shirt or something that says “Extreme Hoarder: Blush Edition.” Actually, no… that would be a terrible t-shirt. Never mind on the t-shirt.

But anyway… HAPPY BLUSHMAS TO YOU ALL! This is going to be kind of a quicky review… because I have essentially already reviewed this toy… if you think back real hard to October you may recall that I reviewed the Blush Novelties Dr. Skin Double Dildo (if you don’t remember, take a minute to get yourself up to speed… don’t worry, I’ll wait… I’ve got all day). So, if you recall, I actually really liked the Dr. Skin Double Dildo except for one minor (or maybe not so minor) thing… the materials the toy was made from. The Dr. Skin was comprised of PVC… which is one of those no-no materials they teach you about in sex toy blogging school (just kidding… I didn’t go to blogging school… but I feel like this would be something that would be on the syllabus). Now, Blush Novelties does say that their PVC is non-porous and body safe… which is probably true… but its one of those things where I’d rather be safe than sorry (I’m an extremely nervous person and will overthink every thing… coming up with every possible scenario where something could go wrong… I used a PVC toy… whelp, now my vagina has a super rare case of toxic chickenpox herpes cancer). I don’t think Blush would lie to me (I mean…I named a Holiday after them after all) but why buy something questionable when you can absolutely buy something in a proven safe material? So, that is essentially the rant I had in my Dr. Skin review (which you would know if you actually stopped to read it when I told you to) and Blush read it and then offered me the silicone version of the double ended dildo I so dearly loved.

Things I like better about the Rusé Silicone Double Headed Dildo:

1. It’s silicone
2. It comes in way better packaging.

I think the biggest selling point (for me at least) with the Rusé is the fact that it is silicone. You really can’t go wrong with silicone. It is an excellent material for a dildo. It is body safe, it is non-porous, and it is super easy to clean. Also, if you take care of your silicone toy it should pretty much last you a lifetime. If you are looking to buy a dildo… silicone is always my first recommendation (glass is my second favorite material… in case you were wondering). The Rusé’s silicone has a silky texture while the density of it is reasonably firm.

Since I just mentioned it being easy to clean, I might as well tell you how easy it is… all you need to do is toss it into the top rack of your dishwasher (no soap) and let it run on its hot cycle. Don’t have a dishwasher? Don’t worry about it… just boil up yourself a big old pot of dildo soup. You are also welcome to just use the good old fashioned sink and mild soap method as well. Do whatever makes you happy… your dildo is silicone and you can clean it however you want.

Also, being made of silicone they say you should avoid silicone based lubes… as it has the potential to bond with the silicone lube causing disfigurement to your toy. I honestly didn’t believe this was a thing until I finally had it happen to me… so… I guess it is possible, but the toy I ended up ruining was an incredibly cheap silicone toy I received in a goodie-bag at a Sex World event years ago, but I’ve been using silicone lube on my Tantus silicone toys for ages now… and have yet to have any issues. I really think this just comes down to the quality of your toy and the lube you using. So… this may or may not still be a thing… could just be one of those old wives tales we are so used to hearing that we continue to pass it down as if its gospel. So… don’t use silicone lube… or do… I don’t know, I’m not your mom. You could always spot test your toy if you are worried.

The packaging… oh man… the Rusé Silicone Double Headed Dildo packaging is so much less embarrassing to receive in the mail. The Dr. Skin arrived in this long plastic tube packed in a long cardboard box… and like… I know no one is thinking anything dirty about my long box… but I knew what was in there and I just felt like carrying my long cardboard box from the mailbox to my house that everyone knew it was the long box of a long ass dildo. This would be even worse if I had picked it up in a store… because then it wouldn’t even have the box to shield it… you would just have a long ass clear plastic tube with a giant dildo… I mean… you really shouldn’t be embarrassed to shop for dildos… but, I do feel super awkward carrying the giant Dr. Skin dildo tube around. So, I really appreciated the much more… understated packaging of the Rusé. It arrived in a reasonably sized square box with the Rusé Silicone Double Headed Dildo tucked neatly inside.

It isn’t as flexible as the Dr. Skin. The Rusé Double Headed Dildo is locked into a U shape… which is either fantastic… or terrible… depending on what you are hoping to do with this toy. I found that the U shape that the Rusé wanted to naturally hold made it much easier for me to do solo double penetration play, where as with the Dr. Skin, it wanted to lay much more flat and I had to fight with it a little bit to get it to hold the U shape I needed to penetrate both my holes (it was totally possible, just not quite as easy as the firmer U shape of the Rusé ended up being). Since writing my last double dong review, I have had a chance to use my double dongs with a partner and I found that I personally prefer that flatter shape, it ended up being much easier to work with when a 2nd person got involved… but maybe this is because we were both total newbs at it and the flatter shape worked well for “beginner mode.” Now, the Rusé definitely still has enough flex to it to allow it to be used with a partner, so you certainly aren’t locked in to only using it solo… and you may also be a better dildo wrangler than I am and will have no issues with it wanting to spring back into its U shape before you get it inserted into both you and your partner. It was weird, it was awkward, we had fun. Once we did get the Rusé inserted into both vaginas we discovered something pretty awesome about this U shape… because it wanted to maintain its U shape it ended up pushing up into our g-spots… and it was… AMAZING. There was definitely very little intense g-spot action happening with the flatter Dr. Skin… so there’s another point in favor of the Rusé.

But other than that… the Rusé is very similar to the Dr. Skin. The texture seems like it is pretty much identical… like they are have to be step-siblings at the very least (you know… same mold… different materials). They both share the same pronounced head and coronal ridge along with that extra veiny shaft. Since I’ve written about this all before (my experience texture-wise is pretty much the same), I’m not really going to spend a whole lot of time on this… but know that the Rusé is gently textured with veins running the entire length of the toy and its fairly realistic (other than it being a cerise color and double headed).

Size-wise it is very nearly identical to the Dr. Skin, both dildos are 18 inches in total length but they seem to very ever so slightly in girth. My Rusé Double Headed Dildo has a width of 1.75 inches where as the Dr. Skin has a width of 1.6 inches, so it is a bit chubbier. If chubby dildo’s are not your thing the Rusé Double Headed Dildo also comes in a slim version which has a width that measures in at smaller 1.5 inches.

I also appreciate the color variations with the Rusé version… it is available in bright, fun (non-skin) colors such as the Cerise pictured in this review, as well as in black, if you opt for the slim version of the toy it looks like you can get it in hot pink and purple. So much more fun then… flesh.

And that really about sums it up.

So, my recommendation? Well, if you are in the market for a double ended dildo… snatch this puppy up right now! It had everything I loved about the Dr. Skin all wrapped up in a silicone package plus the addition of some serious g-spot action! Price-wise you are paying a bit more than the Dr. Skin, but I really think its worth it… I mean… you are getting 18 inches of fantastically silky silicone after all. At the time of this review, you are able to get the Rusé Silicone Double Headed Dildo for at or even under $50 at some retailers… so yes, more expensive than Dr. Skin, but still in the realm of reasonable! The silicone of this toy definitely feels quality (and coming from Blush… I know that it actually is quality) and the entire toy feels hefty and very well made. I really see absolutely nothing wrong with this toy… I have nothing to complain about… and usually I can find at least one thing to complain about when writing a review… but today… today I’ve got nothing. Just go buy yourself a Rusé Double Headed Dildo already won’t you!

Until next time… HO HO HO, Merry Blushmas!!

Ready to upgrade your double dong experience with the Blush Novelties Rusé Silicone Double Headed Dildo? You can pick one up from SheVibe, Betty’s Toy Box (use code KITTEN for 10% off), and Stockroom!

Blush Novelties Rusé Silicone Double Headed Dildo was provided to me free of charge by Blush Novelties in exchange for my honest review. 

The post Blush Novelties Rusé Silicone Double Headed Dildo – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

On the second day of Blushmas my true love game to me… Blush Novelties Aria Kirby and a Rusé Silicone Double Headed Dildo in a pear tree!

I bet you didn’t think there would be a second day of Blushmas… I bet you didn’t think I had it in me… well you were WRONG! Blushmas is my new favorite holiday. It is just twelve days of me masturbating with toys from Blush Novelties. Like… what holiday could be better? #BLUSHMAS (I’m going to make this hashtag a thing)!

I have reviewed a handful of these cute little Aria bullets with their adorable little silicone costumes (no… this isn’t Spooky Month… they aren’t wearing costumes… they are wearing… uhh… ugly sweaters? Yeah… that’s it… bullet vibrators in ugly holiday sweaters) already, there is the Hot Tongue, the Buzz Bunny, and my personal favorite, a weird looking garlic bulb with wings – the Mi Vibe. I already know I like the little super charged bullets that come with these Aria bullet/sweater combos… but the silicone outfit is a real wildcard… I’ll either like it or I’ll hate it… THERE CAN BE NO MIDDLE GROUND.

I feel like the Aria Kirby is especially appropriate for winter… because it looks like the vibrator is wearing a puffy parka… with only its little face peeking out from its hood. Essentially… the Aria Kirby looks like me 6 months out of the year. Blush Novelties turned me into a vibrator ya’ll! I want royalties!

Okay, so the Aria Rechargeable Bullet Kits are these powerful, rechargeable, little bullets that come with a silicon “outfit” that you can insert your bullet in to. So you have the option of using your bullet alone (which I have done many times… its really quite the little powerhouse) or you can stuff it into its silicone regalia and voila it’s like you’ve got a brand new toy! That’s right… it’s like you are getting two for the price of one!

So, as I said (like two seconds ago), the bullet is pretty great in its own right. I have one of these bullets that has become separated from its ugly silicone sweater that I keep in my bedside drawer, I like to pull it out when I’m looking for just a quick no-fuss orgasm (I usually like to reach for my Doxy… but it isn’t always plugged in… and if I’m just waking up from a particularly hot Jeff Goldblum sex dream… I need a way to orgasm RIGHT AWAY… and my trusty Aria Bullet is there waiting for me). I actually have been storing my bullet in an old pill bottle… not really on purpose… I just tossed it into the drawer one day and it found its way into the empty, lidless bottle… so now it just lives there… which is fine, the bullet is tiny and would probably otherwise get lost in all my junk. The Aria bullet is an adorable little 2.5 inches in length and offers ten vibration settings (how does something so small do so much?!).

The Aria Bullet has five steady vibrations that increase in intensity and five patterns. I’m not so much in to the patterns… but they aren’t the worst thing ever. The steady vibrations are where its at… they are surprisingly rumbly for something so… tiny. The top end speeds do start to hint at buzzy though… but it remains quite powerful. I can orgasm with this bullet on its own, no problem. Honestly, Blush could just sell this bullet on its own and I would buy it… Operating the Aria Bullet is about as simple as it gets… if you can push a button you can operate this bullet. There is a single button at the base of the bullet that does all the work. To turn on, just hold down the button until it bursts to life, when you are finished with the bullet just press and hold again to turn it back off. While on, continuing to push the button at the base will cycle you through the bullets ten vibrations. Only downside to this single button operation set up is that if you want to jump from setting 5 back down to setting 4 you are going to have to take the scenic route through settings 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2, and 3.

Now, how about that silicone parka? Well, I don’t hate it. I really thought I would… I didn’t see anything useful at all about the fat lump… it certainly wouldn’t do anything to satisfy my need for pinpoint stimulation… so how could it possibly feel good?! The hood of the silicone parka definitely worked for me… but there really isn’t much difference between the bullet naked and that parka hood… so I was able to nestle it right up against my clit and have all the fantastic orgasms I wanted. The bottom half of the silicone body was a bit more difficult… I really wasn’t sure how to use it. So I just experimented with it a bit… setting it this way and that until I found something I didn’t hate. What I found that I liked the best was to nestle my clit in between the little body ridges… so like… if we are sticking with the parka thing, the middle ridge would be like the zipper and the side ridges would be like where my arms would be… but stuffed inside my coat because it’s just too damn cold out. So the little valley in between the zipper ridge and the arm ridge is where I found my clit sweet spot to be. However, this was more of a teasing sensation and I didn’t have any kind of wow worthy orgasm doing it this way. The chubby lower body piece did work really well on my nipples however and my Stunt Cock didn’t freak out when I used it on the head of his penis either. So while I probably am not having toe curling orgasms using the silicone parka… I do find it incredibly useful for foreplay and teasing. If I want to have a fantastic orgasm, I’ll just stick to using the bullet all by its lonesome.

You know what else is fun about this toy though? It’s incredibly travel friendly! I know this because I stuck it in my purse to go take photos of it somewhere exotic… and traveled around with it in my bag for several days… having forgotten all about it… my mom even went digging in my purse to find my car keys and she never even noticed the little vibrator in there… It also never went off and started vibrating on its own because something bumped up against its button either… so… if you need a good vibrator to carry around in an overnight bag or to take on vacation with you… the Blush Novelties Aria Kirby makes an excellent travel companion!

Another fantastic feature of the Kirby is that it is rechargeable, I seeing so many rechargeable bullets these days… when I first started being sex toy curious I swear all the bullets were battery powered and shitty… maybe I just wasn’t looking in the right place… or maybe rechargeable is just becoming the new standard… either way, I appreciate not having to buy batteries for this thing. The Kirby comes with its own charging cable, one end is a magnetic cap that fits over the base of the bullet (I wish the connection held a bit stronger, it is very easy to bump it lose on accident, so once you plug it in you have to tread lightly around it) and the other end is a basic USB that you can plug into your computer or a wall adapter.

I have found all of the bullet kits in the Aria line up to be simple, effective, and reliable. I would recommend any one of them in a heartbeat… although I think this little Kirby is especially wonderful and recommend it over the rest of those non-winter prepared vibrators. You also can’t beat the price, you get a fantastic little bullet and a neat silicone accessory for under $50 (at the time of this review I’m seeing most of these bullet kits for around $35)! I also like that the little silicone costumes make this a very non-threatening, non-intimidating toy. Like, when I was a newbie at sex toys… even owning a bullet made me feel… awkward… but I think if my bullet had Parka… or a rabbit head… or looked like a leaf… it would have made me smile and made me feel so much more comfortable with my sex toy. So my recommendation is, go ahead and buy it! I think you’ll like it.

Do you feel a kinship with the chubby parka clad Blush Novelties Aria Kirby (I know I do), you can pick one up at Peepshow Toys!

At the time of this review, Peepshow Toys is sold out of the Kirby. Until the restock you can also pick one up at SheVibe.

The Blush Novelties Aria Kirby was provided to me free of charge by Peepshow Toys in exchange for my honest review.

The post Blush Novelties Aria Kirby – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

I love December! I hate the rest of winter… but I LOVE December! It just feels so magical… I love the lights, the decorations, the music, and the generous spirit that fills the air! Now I’m gunna go binge watch Holiday movies… starting with Jingle All the Way… because that was filmed in my home town and I remember seeing all the hullabaloo at the Mall of America. It’s not a particularly good movie… but it is made in Minnesota.

Also, speaking of that generous spirit in the air… I’ve decided to giveaway not one but TWO toys! Thats right, this giveaway will have two winners! You will have your choice of entering to win a Satisfyer Men Heat & Vibration or a Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration.

WHAT WILL YOU’LL WIN:

The Satisfyer Men Heat Vibration Masturbator features an innovative heat function with 3 levels up to 104 degrees Fahrenheit along with vibration!

• Waterproof IPX7
• 70 Vibration Combinations
• 3 Pleasurable Warming Levels
• Skin-friendly Silicone
• Including USB Magnetic Charging Cable
• Body Safe Silicone & ABS Plastic
• Measures approximately 5.5″ (14 cm) in total with about 2.75″ (7 cm) penetrable. It’s about 3″ (7.6 cm) wide and 10″ (25 cm) in circumference

OR

Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration pressure wave stimulator combines the coveted, stimulating pressure waves with sensual vibrations, gifting you an incomparable pleasure experience!

• 2:1 – pressure waves and vibration
• The ultimate in clitoral orgasms
• Separately controllable settings
• 2 powerful motors. Waterproof
• Rechargeable, USB charging cable included

FOLLOW THE RULES:

• This contest will run from December 18, 2019 to December 30,  2019.
• The contest is open World Wide!
• You must be 18 years or older to enter.
• Absolutely NO giveaway accounts. I check EVERY Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram account used to enter, if you only share giveaway posts, your entries will be void. This is a contest for real people, not giveaway bots!
• One winner will be randomly selected and contacted by me via email within seven days of the contest ending. The winner then has 48 hours to reply to me with their address otherwise another winner will be drawn. The winner agrees to provide me with their name, email, phone number and shipping address. On conclusion of the giveaway, Kitten Boheme will ship directly to the winner.

The post Happy Holidays Giveaway! Enter to Win a Satisfyer! appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

Whoa! Hey! Did you know that August 14th is Left Handers day! Do you know who is super cool and left handed?! Me. It’s me! I’m left handed!

Not only do I write with my left hand, but I masturbate with my left hand as well! And today, on this most sacred left handed day I bestowed my favor upon the Svakom Siren and masturbated, left-handedly, as is the Gods intended.

Actually, I am fairly ambidextrous when I masturbate… but I do favor my left hand most of the time. Because the left hand is the cool hand, everyone knows that.

Okay, I know it’s no longer August 14th… in fact, it’s no longer even August anymore (hello January, when did you get here? … What do you mean January is almost over? It took me an embarrassingly long time to finish this review!)… but I’m posting this as I wrote it anyway… because left handed people need more love and attention… and because I don’t waste content around here… I’m all about the three R’s (Reduce, Reuse, Recycle… and that goes for content… actually, I don’t want to reduce my content… so I guess.. two R’s… I don’t know… this is getting ridiculous and out of hand… lets move on quickly).

When this toy arrived and I unboxed it… I instantly knew I did not want to like this toy. It just doesn’t look at all like something that should be liked. It’s like… some kind of terrifying, eyeless, limbless, deep sea monstrosity rising from the deepest darkest depths to attack your clit. It’s horrifying. I’ve read a handful of other reviews of the Siren and those folks compare it to something more floral, like a tulip… but I don’t see it. It is definitely something from a nightmare… I mean… look at those mouth prongs…it has serrated teeth… do flowers have mouth prongs with serrated teeth?! I DON’T THINK SO! I almost feel like I should be saving this review and add the Svakom Siren to my 2020 Spooky Month line up (P.S. stay tuned for my Spooky Month countdown to Halloween starting on October 1st)!

I had to remind myself of that age old saying, ” you can’t judge a book by its cover.” Or in this case, you can’t judge a sex toy by it’s terrifying eyeless stare. It might turn out to be the best sex toy I’ve ever used… I won’t know unless I try it! Spoiler… turns out, it is not the best toy I’ve ever used. So, I put aside my strong feelings about the Sirens deep sea aesthetics and pressed the flesh (that doesn’t sound right) with my Siren.

OMG, y’all…  so… I don’t want to keep beating a dead horse here… but, I just went to the Svakom website to look up some stats and measurements on this toy and the Siren is pictured in water with jelly fish floating around it… this does nothing to assuage the deep sea terror vibes I get from this toy. Did Svakom actually mean for it to look like a sea creature!? Were they aiming for something more majestic like a jelly fish… or even a harmless squid… but overshot the mark and land on something in between hag fish and goblin shark? I NEED ANSWERS! WHY DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THIS

Okay, so…I was 100% confused by this thing when I pulled it out and pressed it against my clit. I was completely underwhelmed by the vibrations fluttering between the… mouth prongs… like… so underwhelmed I’m pretty sure I yawned and started thinking about what to make for lunch, instead of enjoying an orgasm (I decided on chips and guacamole… in case your curious). I tossed the toy down in frustration and figured it was a dud and I was ready to write my scathing review then and there. BUT THEN I realized I was using it wrong… whoops… even skilled sex bloggers such as myself make mistakes. I was so taken by the Sirens mouth prongs that I failed to fully comprehend what the toy really was. It is a DUAL ended toy… which means both the mouth prongs end and the more ball shaped end are usable… and both ends have their own vibrations. Apparently I only turned on the vibrations to what I assumed was only the handle… which knowing that… the vibrations actually traveled pretty well into the mouth prongs. Once I had all that sorted, I turned on the vibrations to the mouth prongs end and it was like I was holding a whole different toy! I mean… it didn’t magically turn into something I loved… but it was something I was able to masturbate with.

Once I realized it was a dual ended vibrator, I had to choose which end I was going to work with. I decided to try again with the “rabbit eared” mouth pronged end… since that is the more intriguing end of the Siren. And okay, yes… I did orgasmed with this end of the toy (twice even), but I just smashed it against my clit. The flicking prongs were set too wide to really do much to my shy little clit and it wasn’t really doing anything for me. I think this would be a lot more fun for someone with a bigger, more pronounced clit. Even using a couple of fingers to try to coax my clit out didn’t really change the outcum (tee-hee… I just miss-typed “outcome” but it’s the most perfect spelling error ever, so I’m leaving it), the flickering mouth of the nightmare creature was all bark and no bite. Smashing it against my clit was alright though, so the vibrations to have enough oomph to them to get me off… so all is not lost. I think this is just an anatomy thing, this end of the toy will probably work perfectly for someone else. The mouth prongs (I can’t stop calling them that… I’ve tried to come up with a better word, but I just can’t) did work really well for nipple stimulation though… I’ll give it that.

Okay, the wilder side of the Siren wasn’t a big winner for me, but remember… it’s double sided! So The Siren gets a second chance to impress me! This end of the toy, the “handle” end as I’ve been calling it consists of a bulbous… uh… bulb. This end can be inserted or used as an external vibrator. I wasn’t really wowed by it, but I have no complaints about it either. It did the trick for me, pushed it against my clit, cranked up the vibrations, and off I went to orgasm town.

The silicone of the Siren is soft and smooth, which made for comfortable insertion of the toy. I don’t have a whole lot to say about how it felt inserted, it’s smaller than I normally like and there isn’t a whole lot of useable length so I didn’t really do much more than some shallow thrusting. I had zero orgasms with it inserted, so for me the Siren is a purely external toy. But it didn’t feel terrible… so I have no doubt there is someone out there who will really enjoy the insertion of the bulby end.

The Svakom Siren has dual motors (a motor for each end), which can be operated simultaneously or one at a time. There are two buttons on the shaft of the toy, one button for each end. This is something I didn’t realize at first… I press and held what I thought was the power button and the toy sprang to life so I figured the second button must control the vibrations… but no… this is not how it works. How the Siren actually works is that the two buttons on the shaft of the toy each operate one of the toys two motors. So the button closest to the bulbed end controls the vibrations for that end of the toy, while the button closest to the monster tongue flaps controls those… that should be relatively easy to remember. When you turn the toy on they begin at their middle intensity setting… which is weird… but that’s cool… I’m just used to toys starting on their lowest setting and you can adjust upwards from there. To adjust the intensities of either end you just click their respective buttons until you have found the setting you are after. The bulb end has five vibration intensities and if you double click the button you can access its five pattern modes and each of these five patterns can be adjusted to any of the five intensity levels (giving you 25 choices on this end of the vibrator). The flappy tongue end is somewhat less impressive and only has three vibration intensities and does not have a pattern function mode.

The color of the Svakom is actually more or an orangey color… maybe even kind of coral… I feel like my photos make it look far more red than it is. I don’t know what happened… yes I do… bad lighting… because I bent over and my fat ass knocked over my umbrella lights and I shattered the bulb… so… until I am able to get a new bulb to replace the one I broke… I fear my photos will have wonky lighting for a bit… or I’ll just be doing a whole lot of outdoor photos for awhile (good news… since writing this review… an awesome person sent me new light bulbs… so maybe I’ll get around to updating this photos with something more color accurate…).

With a name like Siren, I’d like to get more magical mermaid vibes and less it came from the black lagoon vibes. I appreciate the innovation and the willingness to go outside the box… and I like the versatile two-in-one design, but at the end of the day the Svakom Siren is just not a home run for me. I’m not sure if this is due to the design of the toy itself or if its due mostly to my own anatomy. While the vibrations aren’t amazing (and a little buzzy) they are reasonably strong – they did get me off after all (but if you like your vibrations Hitachi powerful you will be sorely disappointed). I also don’t really like the flickering tongue thing… that is a gimmick that just never thrills me, it lacks the kind of pin-point stimulation I really crave and rarely does vibration carry through the flickering enough to really wow me. Then it had the added bonus (curse?) of having those flickering flaps be kind of rabbit eared… which also never work for me… so it was just a double whammy of things I don’t like. The bulbed end seemed pretty promising, but I wish it was longer, or the bulb fatter, or that there was enough of a curve to send the bulb up into my g-spot… the short and shallow insertion really didn’t do much for me either. But I am positive somewhere out there is a person who loves all the things I hate… in which case… you might like this toy! Maybe you are just a collector of the weird and unique… in which case the Svakom Siren would be right at home in your collection of masturbatory oddities! Overall, it is an interesting style of vibrator and I really like that it has a dual motor set-up (just wish it had a bit more oomph to it)… while it’s not my toy (I could see myself actually enjoying this toy with maybe a few tweaks… so its alllllllmost there), I am confident there must be someone who will actually enjoy this sea creature–err, vibrator.

You can pick up the Svakom Siren direct from Svakom!

The Svakom Siren was provided to my free of charge by Svakom in exchange for my honest review.

The post Svakom Siren – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

Love month is here! This is usually a pretty good time to snag good deals on a sex toys, lingerie, and sexy accessories (like lube, fancy condoms, massage oils, etc). It is also a great time to buy chocolate on the cheap. So go ahead, buy yourself some cheap sex toys to go with your cheap chocolate and find that perfect butt groove in your couch and watch Netflix (you can even invite your Valentine over if you want… but I prefer to make love month all about me).

Below you’ll find some of the Valentine’s Sales happening at some of my favorite online retailers! Some of these sales are Flash Sales (meaning they pop up with little warning and disappear quickly) so you may need to act fast! Also, keep checking back, new sales are being added (and new flash sales are popping up)!

LOVEHONEY

• Up to 50% off the Ultimate Valentine’s Gift!
• FREE Sex Toy Bundle ($134 value) when you spend $125 or more!
• Find up to 70% off in the Lovehoney Outlet!
• 15% off Liberator products!
• Deal of the Week: Take 50% off the Womanizer Starlet!
• Take 25% off select LELO products!
• Take 20% off Rocks-Off Toys!
• Check out ALL Lovehoney’s Valentine’s Day Specials!

LIBERATOR

• Take 20% off site-wide! Use code LOVEMORE!
• Take 30% off when you spend $300 or more! Use code LOVEMORE!
• Sale Items are up to 50% off! Use code LOVEMORE!
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• Valentine’s Day Special: Get the Womanizer Starlet for $49 (normally priced at $69.00)
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• Find 20 to 25% off  during Luvoqa’s Valentine’s Gift Sale!

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When I was looking through SheVibe’s catalog of toys, trying to decide on what I wanted to review next, two things really drew me to the CalExotics Hype Massager…

1.)  It is a vibrating wand. I am all about vibrating wands. If I could only use one kind of sex toy for the rest of my life, it would be a vibrating wand. VIBRATING WANDS FOR LIFE!

2.) The design. You can’t tell me that it isn’t eye catching. It’s like my vibrator went and got itself into a fight with a graffiti artist, and the graffiti artist won.  I am super into this design… I also like that its just black and white… its like… classy… but also a little bit punk rock. GIMMIE THOSE PUNK ROCK VIBES!

I don’t have a wildly large collection of CalExotics toys (although I did have a super nice chat with the CalExotics rep at AVN this year) or a whole lot of experience with them… I think the only Calexotics products I currently own (besides this wand) are the four Mini Marvels (which are super cute and super fun). So, I don’t have a lot of accumulative information on how CalExotics products work… like… I’ve used so many Satisfyer toys that I can pretty much guess how much (or little) I’m going to like their latest model based on what I know of their previous toys… but that isn’t so for the CalExotics Hype Massager… it’s all still a mystery to me… so I was actually really excited to give this toy a go! I was super-duper hopeful that this would turn out to be a great wand and I’d have another wand I could recommend (bonus points for it being reasonably affordable) when people asked for something but didn’t want a Doxy/Hitachi (my go to suggestions when it comes to wands).

I’ll just cut to the chase here, I liked the Hype Massager. I really did. After my first use I was on the fence about it, because it has a few quirks that I’m not super in to… but it finished strong… by the end of my testing period… I was a fan of the CalExotics Hype Massager.

So there are two things I didn’t really care for, and one thing that I wish was better… but none of these things were big deal breakers for me. My first issue is the hyper flexible neck. Now… this is a feature that a lot of people like, so I’m really not going to knock them for this… especially since the toy is advertised as having a flexible neck… so… obviously I should have known this before bringing the vibrating wand home. But I don’t particularly like toys with super flexible necks, because when I masturbate, I like to put a lot of pressure down on my clit… so when a toy has a neck that is TOO flexible, it feels like the head of the toy is just leaning away from me the harder I push… so I ended up having to place my thumb against the head of the toy to squish it down into my clit. So, if you are a person who likes a lot of pressure (like me), just be aware that the Hype has a very flexible neck. But if you like toys with such flexibility… you’re going to like this wand.

My second issue… is kind of dumb. So, when I masturbate, I usually like to take my glasses off… you know… for safety… I don’t need to break them (because I have really shitty health insurance that only pays for a pair of glasses once every two years)… but with my glasses off… I could not for the life of me find the damn control buttons! They really blend in to black and white graffiti theme and become nearly invisible (which is great for aesthetics but terrible for functionality)! Also, normally I can find a toys buttons just by feel…but the Hype features what I would describe as a raised quilted texture (which I admit, my fingers do find quite pleasing) over most of the handle… which makes feeling for the buttons a little difficult. This is really a silly issue and again, I’m not really going to knock the toy for it… but its just another thing worth being aware of… especially if you are as blind as I am without your glasses, you will have to hold the wand inches from your nose to locate the buttons every time you want to change settings. Luckily there are only two buttons… so at least once you find them, it is very simple to operate.

The power button is the button that is located closest to the head of the toy, press and hold this button for three seconds to turn the toy on or off. The button below that, the one with the wavy lines, controls the 10 vibrations modes. The Hype has four intensities and six pattern modes. The patterns were pretty standard, nothing that really wowed me (I’m rarely a fan of patterns, I stick to the steady vibrations). To cycle through the 10 modes you just keep clicking the wavy line button… which makes it simple to use… but always a little frustrating that you have to cycle through EVERYTHING to get back to a previous pattern… but at least you aren’t cycling through 20 different settings… (I own toys like this… it makes me so angry when I need to change settings…).

And the one thing I wish was just a little bit better with the CalExotics Hype Massager is power. Again, this isn’t something I’m knocking the wand for… because this is just another personal preference I have… I like a wand with a lot of power… I want to feel my toes vibrate right off my body… I want a jet engine to look on with jealously and say “DAMN… that’s a lot of power”… I like to be vibrated into a puddle of goo that takes hours to reform back into a human. The Hype doesn’t have that kind of power… the Hype is what I consider to be more mid-range (bordering on high)… it is still plenty powerful and will probably be satisfying for most. One thing these vibrations have going for them though is they have some deep rumbles, I was suitably impressed by the rumble this little wand produced. Sadly, it just isn’t strong enough for someone as snobby as I am. BUT I still had a great orgasm (or several). The Hype wand got the job done. I have no complaints other than I wanted to orgasm faster! I want a vibrator so strong I’m orgasming before the toy even touches my clit! I am also aware of how unreasonable I am… which is why I’m going to say… the CalExotics Hype Massager is probably strong enough for most folks. The rumbly vibrations are really pretty excellent, they did penetrate nice and deep (especially when I held the head down against my clit with my thumb… stupid flexible neck).

The Hype Massager is rechargeable and comes with a USB charging cable. Stick the single pronged end into the very bottom of the wand and plug the other end into your computer or wall adapter and you are good to go! It takes roughly two hours to achieve a full charge of the wand and you will get about 70 minutes worth of play time out of the toy if you run it solely on its highest speed (which I do)… you can eke out about 2 hours of play time if you are happy with the lower (but still super rumbly) speeds.

The toy is covered in a smooth, matte, silicone. Which makes the toy easy to clean. It is also safe to use the Hype wand in water, so take it in the tub or shower with you… or to a sexy pool party… or go masturbate in a rainstorm… whatever aquatic activity you are in to… you can masturbate with the Hype!

Overall, I am pretty happy with the time I spent with the CalExotics Hype Massager, it  really is a nice vibrating wand! The price isn’t all that bad either, at the time of this review you can pick up the Hype for under $50 (which is totally doable on my normally tiny budget). The vibrations aren’t overly powerful (but I imagine are powerful enough for most tastes… because as I said… I’m satisfied by nothing less than a turbo speed engine) and are deep and full of satisfying rumble. The material is excellent (I had someone DM me about someone telling them that the colors chip off… but I’ve owned this for months now and have not experienced this at all), the silicone is soft and matte and perfectly touchable (and easy to clean). If you are looking for a rumbly wand but don’t want/need the powerhouse that the Doxy or Hitachi is… the CalExotics Hype Massager is probably a good bet! I can totes recommend!

Ready to bring the CalExotics Hype Massager home?! Pick one up at SheVibe! Do you like the look of the Hype Wand but don’t really want/need a vibrating wand? No problem… check out the rest of the CalExotics Hype Collection!

 The CalExotics Hype Massager was provided to my free of charge by SheVibe in exchange for my honest review.

The post CalExotics Hype Massager – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

Okay, we couldn’t make heads nor tails of this one. We walked away from it scratching our heads and feeling like great big dummies. My Stunt Cock has been expressing an interest in wanting to try out a penis pump, or something with suction (I think he is jealous of my extensive Satsifyer and Womanizer collection)… so when I was looking for my next toy to review from SheVibe, I thought that the CalExotics Optimum Series Get Hard Penis Head Pump Set was going to be perfect. Like, I seriously felt like a goddamn hero when I pulled this toy from the box and presented it to him. I really thought I had done it, I had heard his desires and made his dreams come true. Honestly, I thought I deserved a god damn ticker tape parade… (I am clearly filled with far too much undeserved confidence…).

Now I’m just embarrassed that I even brought this thing into my house. I don’t know if this is just a bad toy… or we just experienced a whole lot of user error… but neither of us found our experience with the toy wildly enjoyable (though it also wasn’t entirely intolerable either). Which is really too bad, because the Get Hard Penis Head Pump sounds really super great… in theory… in practice… I don’t know what went wrong. Like, for realsies folks… I am so perplexed by this one… I don’t know whether to give it a bad review… or a good review… or a neutral review… I DON’T KNOW?! For real, this is shaping up to be one of the hardest reviews I’ve ever written…because I’m just so perplexed. So I guess… we’ll just unpack my feelings together and see where this goes.  Is this a good toy? You’re guess is as good as mine at the point.

I guess let’s start with what is the Get Hard Penis Head Pump Set. That’s an easy one, I can answer that. So the idea behind the Get Hard is that it is both a penis pump but also a vibrator. Sounds exciting right? I thought so… The Get Hard boasts a completely automatic pump that delivers 3 levels of intense suction, which sounded amazing to me. I was originally just looking for a standard ol’ penis pump for my Stunt Cock, something akin to the pussy pump I own… just like… a cup, or I guess in this case, a tube to stick your gentiles in and a pump that you work manually. I wasn’t in the market for anything fancy. That is until I was scrolling through Shevibe’s selection of Pumps and something about the Get Hard really caught my eye, I think it was that it was automatic (no hand pumping) and looked pretty compact and easy to store compared to some of the other options. I went with the Penis Head Pump Set, but looking through Shevibe’s catalog now, I see that there is also a Get Hard Power Pump, that looks like it is meant for the full penis to be inserted, but it doesn’t come with the vibration feature that the Penis Head Pump does. Had I seen the full dick pump, I may have gone with that… although I also don’t really regret purchasing the Penis Head Pump either… because its an interesting idea.

But anyway, the Get Hard Penis Head Pump also features vibration, which I think is a neat add on, even though my Stunt Cock isn’t super fond of vibrations on his penis… we do occasionally hit on a vibrating toy that he does enjoy. So I was hoping this would be one of those “eureka” moments and we would have another vibrating toy we could add to the “does not hate” category. The Get Hard Penis Head Pump has five vibration functions and something CalExotics calls a “tickler cushion.” Which is just a spongy pad at the bottom of the cup with a handful of tiny fingers that I guess is there to tickle the penis head. Stunt Cock said he didn’t notice any added stimulation from the pad and said he could take it or leave it. Vibration-wise Stunt Cock was a bit more pleased, his exact words were “oh, this doesn’t feel to bad.” Which from him, is pretty high praise. So the vibration feature gets his seal of approval, which is excellent.

Bonus: You can run the pump with only the suction feature, only the vibrations, or you can put them both together for one heck of a good time. I like that everything can run independently of each other, always an excellent feature when a toy offers that level of customization.

Okay, so…. the toy sounds pretty good doesn’t it? So, what on earth did we have so much trouble with? The suction. It didn’t really provide that penis pump magic that Stunt Cock was looking for. I think part of the problem might have been our inability to get a tight seal, I think we may have needed to do some trimming of Stunt Cock’s pubic hair… it was long and kind of getting in the way… getting itself caught up into the ring that was supposed to help seal the toy. At the time I was too excited to try this toy out and Stunt Cock wasn’t in the mood for a whole lot of extra grooming and prep work and since it was just a penis head pump, I didn’t think pubic hair was going to be an issue, since it didn’t need to seal against the base of his penis. So we just tried to push the hair out of the way and hold the toy down as tight as we could… hoping it would seal (it really didn’t work). So I don’t think Stunt Cock ever got the full “power” of the Get Hard… I am going to assume that it actually does have some suction behind it and its not all a big lie and marketing gimmick. So as far as the suction goes, its still a mystery to me if the Get Hard is worth it or not. I don’t know what we could have done differently here.

Something else we really didn’t like… is the gross… sticky… jelly like doughnut that fits around the head of the pump. They are meant to tighten the seal and provide more sensation, but it was hard for Stunt Cock to get his dick through the opening, not because it wasn’t big enough (they are plenty stretchy) but because they were sticky and he had to keep peeling it away from his dick flesh so he could get it down the hole. Lube didn’t really help, we just ended up being both sticky and slippery. Stunt Cock also found out that the ability to thrust must not be anything built into the toy either, because when he tried to work it like a masturbation sleeve the sticky doughnut would stick to his penis and pull off of the pump. But, because its a pump, I don’t think you really are supposed to use it as a thrusting toy… so we can’t really blame this on the toy. What makes this toy a “set” is that it comes with two doughnuts (I don’t know what else to call them… but neither does CalExotics… because they also call them that… although they use the spelling donut), there is a “simple donut” which you are supposed to use with your regular pumping session while the second is meant to be ultra-tight and cause “knee-shaking” stimulation. No knees where shaking with either doughnut… what did we do wrong?!

The CalExotics Get Hard Penis Pump runs on AAA batteries (which I had to cannibalize from my food scale… because who just has AAA batteries laying around?), which is a slight disappointment, I would have preferred it to be rechargeable. But, it’s also not a huge deal either. The toy isn’t too hard to clean, just slide the doughnut (donut?) off and you have access to the inner chamber. It was a little bit fiddly spraying all the cum out of the tickler cushion… but it came pretty clean without a lot of elbow grease.

Now, for the big question… do I recommend it? Do I not? I still don’t know. I can tell you that we didn’t really have much success with it… but I’m still not sure if it was due to the toy itself or just our own human error. I feel like the materials maybe could have been better, the gross sticky doughnuts were not a winner in my book… there has to be another material those could have been made from. I also wish we could have achieved better suction, I would have liked to have gotten a better sense of how the suction feature really works. At this point, I’d have to say it didn’t really work, but as I keep saying, I really feel like maybe we used it wrong. If you have this toy or end up buying this toy I would love to know what you think and if you had better luck with it than we did. You all seem like a smart lot, so I’m sure you can figure this toy out better than we did! I think I might buy the full length Get Hard Power Pump, just because I’m curious if we would have a better luck with that.

I 100% think I will be revisiting this review at a later date, I think we will be giving this toy another test session in the future to see if anything changes.

Do you want to bring home the CalExotics Optimum Series Get Hard Penis Head Pump Set and prove once and for all that you are smarter than I am? Pick one up from SheVibe, then come back and let me know if you got it to work right!

The CalExotics Optimum Series Get Hard Penis Head Pump Set was provided to me free of charge by SheVibe in exchange for my honest review.

The post CalExotics Optimum Series Get Hard Penis Head Pump Set – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

It’s here! IT’S FINALLY HERE! It’s SPOOoooOOOOooOOoooky Month! I have never been more excited for Spooky Month than I am now… 2020 has been a complete wreck and I am ready for something good to happen. Or at least something spooky. Halloween is my favorite holiday and October is my favorite month so we are going to celebrate the ever lovin’ heck out of October 2020… because dammit, we need it!

How do we celebrate Spooky Month you ask? Why, with SPOOOoooOOOoooky Reviews! Throughout October I’ll be reviewing Spooky Month themed toys… be it Halloween colored toys, monster themed toys, weird toys, and so on and so forth. I try to keep it fun and spooky related and a good time is had by all!

Now that you are caught up with the whole vibe of Spooky Month let’s kick things off, shall we?

SPOOKY MONTH 2020 HAS OFFICIALLY COMMENCED!

I spent a lot of time (I’m not kidding, I really did) trying to decide what toy should kick of my spooky extravaganza. I didn’t want to come out of the gate too strong… we need to build up the spooky gradually… building the anticipation… you know… but I also wanted to start Spooky Month on a totally rock solid note… because if the first toy sucks… why would you come back for the rest of Spooky Month? So I did a lot of deliberation on this.  In the end, I think I found the perfect toy.

The Uberrime Spiro!

Why the Spiro? Well, 1. Uberrime is like my all time fav dildo maker. So I know any toy from them is going to be excellent. 2. My particular Spiro has a perfectly spooky, irradiated candy corn look to it. 3. I actually really liked the Sprio, so I get to write about something I enjoyed that is also spookylicious.

First off, I love the coloring of this dildo. Usually I start a sex toy review with stuff about the toys shape or how I liked using it or whatever, I don’t usually talk about color until somewhere near the end, but I love the color of this Spiro so much we are going to talk about it first. It is super eye-catching, it stands out in a crowd, it draws you in, its a color that screams “USE ME, I’M FUN!” It’s bright neon, UV-reactive pigments give it the look of something that has fallen into a vat of toxic goo and has come out mutated and glowing. My first thought upon pulling it from the box was that it looked a bit like candy corn gone wild. The bright yellow to orange looks almost edible… but also somewhat toxic. It’s an excellent color, I highly recommend. It blends in really well with my shelf display of Halloween sex toys that I put out every year… because that is a thing normal people do. I wish my photos did the colors of this dildo justice… just look at these… then imagine something brighter… more irradiated looking.

Now that we have my color lust outta the way… the Shape of this dildo is also super interesting to both me and my greedy vagina. I think the shape of the head is super unique, it’s like almost what you would expect the head of a penis to look like… but not quite… (obviously a side-effect of the toxic sludge responsible for this dildo) because its got flat edges. You know how when you smush your face against a window your nose gets all flat? That is what the head of the Spiro reminds me of, a smushed and flattened nose. Spiro’s head also has a very prominent ridge, which I found to be pretty great for targeting my g-spot.

Also that girthy shaft. Just look at all that girth, that is some good girth. But it doesn’t run the whole length of the shaft, it is at its chubbiest partway down the shaft, just below the head then reduces back down in size down near the base of the toy. Also the shaft features a set of very subtle ridges, which adds a delightful hint of texture. This toy was just made for long, slow drags in and out of my vagina. I love feeling the chubby middle pop in and out and those ridges brushing against my vaginal walls. Its a delicious experience that is really worth savoring!

With the smushed head and girthy shaft… I think its shape is best described as “quirky.” It is a quirky dildo. And I mean that in the very best way. THE VERY BEST WAY.

Size-wise the Uberrime Spiro is a chonky dildo, but it isn’t a huge toy. It’s insertable length is 6.5 inches (total length is 7 inches), so slightly above average but nothing unmanageable. Now, girth-wise we are looking at a head circumference of 5 inches (again, chonky, but not unmanageable) and a max circumference of 5.5 inches around the widest point of the mid-shaft bulge. So over all, it is above average…but nice. For me it is really hitting my size sweet spot, I like to feel filled up without being stretched to the max (I mean… sometimes I like being stretched to the max… but I have to be in a certain mood for that). Also, another nice thing about the Spiro is that it is soft (Uberrime says the silicone is about a shore 8), which makes the toy much more flexible and makes the bigger girth far more forgiving, as my vagina is able to squish it down and make it fit. It’s not at all like trying to shove in an unyielding firm toy…  (The Incredible Hunk I reviewed a looooooong time ago comes to mind… that was a FAT toy that had no give to it).

Normally, I use a dildo in one of two ways. I either like to just hold it inside and squeeze around it, enjoying to feeling of being filled and flexing my vagina muscles around it, or I liked to be able to thrust with wild and reckless abandon…. there is no in-between. At least until now… the Spiro makes me use a dildo in a completely new way… slow and deliberately. I like to take things nice and slow with the Spiro. I like to really enjoy its chonky shaft and subtle ridges as they glide against my vaginal walls and across my labia. I like to savor this toy. I also like to take the flat side of Spiro’s head and cup my clit with it, giving it a good rub. The g-spotting is where this toy really shined for me though, the head really was just right for hitting my g-spot with slow, shallow thrusts. I’m getting chills just thinking about it. At the risk of over selling this dildo… it was straight up magic for me.

I didn’t brave the Spiro anally, I just wasn’t feeling up to trying out the girth. But this toy can 100% be used up your butt, the flared base will keep this toy from escaping your grasp and plunging into your ass, exploring your greatest depths, and eventually squirming its way up to your brain where it will take over your now husk of a self, piloting your meat suit as it works to take over the world. I have a feeling the Spiro would make an excellent anal toy for the more adventurous, the girth and the ridges of the mid-shaft section would feel really good I bet (and the softer texture should keep things pretty comfortable). I’m not sure about using this toy in a harness, it is no doubt possible, it looks like it would fit in most harnesses. I just have to wonder about the weight of this toy, since all of its heft is at the front end of the dildo, it may just droop in a harness and make it a little more difficult to use, unless you are willing to hold and guide it by hand. But this is only speculation, I don’t have my harness handy… so if you do use it in a harness, report back to me and let me know how it was!

The Uberrime Spiro does come in three other colors… but why would you want anything but spooky irradiated toxic candy corn (or as Uberrime calls it “orange to yellow”)? So you’ve got some aesthetic options (but again… it comes in spooky orange, so why would you want anything else). At this time the Spiro only comes in one size… but part of me would like to see a slightly scaled up version… I don’t know why… I guess I just fantasize about taking big dildos (even though I often can’t).

The silicone material is a breeze to keep clean. You can go the simple soap and tap water route or you can jazz it up a bit and throw it in a pot of boiling water for a quick bath. Personally I am lazy so I just throw my dildos into the top rack of my dishwasher and run it (no soap) on the sanitize cycle. But you do you, silicone is easy clean up. Silicone will also last you ages if you take care of it, so you can pass on the Spiro to your future generations… tell them its an ancient relic unearthed in the deepest depths of a sacred cave. Also be sure to tell them about the curse. Every good relic needs a curse.

Okay, I know I probably say this every time I use an Uberrime dildo, but I think the Spiro is one of my favorite dildo’s so far. The unique shape, the girth, the interesting head with the prominent ridge… it all comes together so flawlessly and creates just an excellent masturbation experience. I love this toy. I really want you to love this toy. I want us all to love this toy so much that we forget about all our problems and just love each other and our dildos. Although this is a Spooky Month dildo… so it may just be forcing me to love it using weird spooky pheromones… and it is trying to lure me into some kind of Spiro Cult where I will be forced to sexually pleasure its leader as he brain washes me into thinking that Spiro is an ancient god that I must make human sacrifices to or else it will rise and destroy the world. Its either that or I actually really love this dildo. 100% do recommend the Uberrime Spiro and I am not being forced to say that by a demonic cult leader.

Ready to bring the spooky dildo magic home for yourself? Pick up the Uberrime Spiro from Shevibe! The color selection may vary with availability… so I can’t promise you that you’ll be able to snag a radioactive candy corn version… but the dildo is awesome no matter what color you end up with! To check out what other colors SheVibe is carrying, just do a quick search for “Spiro” and the other options should magically appear (also, SheVibe has given the various colors way cooler names than what’s found in Uberrime’s own shop… Nebula? Namor?).

The post Uberrime Spiro – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

Hold on a second! This can’t possibly be a Spooky Month toy! IT’S PINK! IT’S CUTE! What gives?!  Yes, I hear you… it is an innocent shade of baby pink…and it does have an adorable set of wittle-bitty ears… BUT DON’T LET THAT FOOL YOU… this toy is a MONSTER. Literally. It has Monster literally in its name.

The Sistalk Monster Pub Mister Devil is a demonic fiend that is anxious to crawl into your vagina, take possession of your meat sack, and raise hell. How do I know this? Well, for starters the name on the package literally says this toy is called Mister Devil… so… I don’t think I’m wrong.

I think what we have here is a Rosemary’s Baby or Omen situation here. This is clearly a demonic presence in the shape of a cute little baby. I’m not saying the Sistalk Monster Pub is the Antichrist… I’m just saying I wouldn’t trust it to not push me off a balcony if it had the chance.

The Monster Pub is an interesting little vibrator. It looks like an some kind of fetal facehugger, but I assure you it is perfectly safe for insertion. The oblong head of the demonic baby inserts quite easily with a bit of lube (I had some minor fears that the little protruding ears would somehow be painful… they weren’t at all, didn’t even notice them). The head of this adorable beast sits perfectly on my g-spot, although I did have some troubles getting some real deep g-spot penetration of the vibrations. It like felt good, but it didn’t quite throw me over the edge with a g-spot orgasm. But even without the g-spot orgasm, I still really enjoyed the stimulation it gave while I concentrated on my clit. The bulbous body of this toy also gives a pretty nice filling feeling, its not a lot, but its just enough to feel like you’ve got something in there. Its just the perfect mouthful (err, I guess vaginaful) to squeeze around while enjoying some clit stimulation.

The tail or tentacle finger or whatever you want to call the bottom half of Mister Devil is designed to sit outside of your body on lookout duty, it warns the top half of the creature when danger approaches. No, that’s not right. The tail portion is actually designed for clitoral stimulation. Much like rabbits, I often have issues with these wearable clit stimulators. It seems like I can either have the inner part sitting comfortably against my g-spot, or I can have clitoral stimulation… I almost never get both. Mister Devil is no different… if I want the head to be vibrating away against my g-spot, I have to accept that the tail won’t come anywhere near my clit. Or I can adjust the curve of the tail down onto my clit, but then it shifts the head away from my sweet spot. Obviously, this is going to be a different situation depending on your own body, but for me… its one or the other. If the tail were just a hair longer, I think  could have made it work.

I’m not too mad at it though, because I don’t really like the tail portion all that anyway, the tail is quite narrow and doesn’t put a lot of pressure on my clit. If I want to orgasm via clit stim I need some pretty firm pressure. I also need either very pinpoint or something quite broad… the Mister Devil falls into an in-between space that just doesn’t quite do it for me. It feels good enough, but its not enough to take me over the edge.

So what I ended up doing was enjoying the internal vibration and squeezing around the bulk of the Mister Devil while using my We- Vibe Tango to do the heavy lifting. The orgasm from this combo was pretty spectacular. The little extra g-spot stimulation along with vibrating my clit… we very almost approached squirting territory (and on a good day I think I could actually do it with these toys).  The quality of the vibrations aren’t all that bad… I’d classify it somewhere between buzzy and rumbly. Brumbly? It’s a brumbly vibrator. Like, I can definitely feel buzz… but there is also an undertone of something deeper… the rumble… it isn’t a high caliber of rumble, but it has just enough to be decent.

Something particularly devilish about Mister Devil is trying to figure out how to turn it on. Turns out the thing I thought was a power button was not a power button. In fact, it looked like there was absolutely no visible power button what so ever. I spent a long time manhandling this toy trying to figure out how to turn it on. The toy is only like 3 inches long… there isn’t that much surface area for a power button to hide. In the end, I finally had to admit defeat and consult the instruction manual to figure out how to power Mister Devil on.

As it turns out the power button is in the butt tentacle. Once I learned that I felt really dumb, because low and behold at the very tippy top of the tail is a power symbol and a tiny button. But I swear to you that the button wasn’t there when I was trying to figure it out on my own. I am 100% convinced that by reading the instruction manual out loud I summoned the power button… like some kind of demonic incantation… because there is just no way I am that unobservant that I didn’t see that tail button (or maybe I am, who knows…). Just press and hold the power button until Mister Devil lets out an audible shriek (it gives a quick pulse to let you know its ready to go), from there continue pressing the button to cycle through its settings.

Controlling the Mister Devil is pretty simple. Once you have conjured up your power button, use that same button to cycle through Mister Devil’s various modes. It comes pre-programed with 3 levels of intensity and 5 pattern modes. You can also take charge of the toy via an app. But if I am honest with you here, I didn’t really give the app much of a go. I’ve kind of had my fill of app controlled toys… it was neat the first half dozen times… but I don’t need millions of sex toy apps on my phone… that is too many apps… I don’t like the clutter. Right now We-Vibe’s app is the only one that has earned a permanent spot on my phone. But I did give the app a very quick cruise. Search for the Monster Pub – International app in the app store, download that. Then just pair your toy with the app (it’s pretty simple to do and it’s detailed in the instruction manual). The app is set up nicely, it has several sections, for various modes of control, little surprise games, and  you can use your Mister Devil as a Kegel exerciser using the Kegal section of the app. How well these all work I can’t say, I didn’t spend a lot of time with them.

The charging port is somewhat easier to spot than the power button, but only if you know what you are looking for. I’ve seen this trick before with other toys, so I knew exactly what I was looking at. There is a tiny little pinprick of a hole present on the lower body/upper tail portion of the toy, that is where you need to insert the pronged charging cable. I had to push pretty hard, so even though it feels like you must be breaking something or doing it wrong, don’t worry… you’ve probably got it right. Mister Devil comes with a USB charging cable, so you will need to either plug it into a computer or wall cube (like what comes with an iPhone) or some other such device. While charging the bowels of this creature breath a spooky pink light. You’ll know its charged with the spooky pink light stays constant. This means the creature is ready to feed. Err, I mean ready for use.

One quick note here, my version of Mister Devil is slightly different than than what is currently available for purchase. I have a first generation Mister Devil (I’ve had this toy for awhile) and they are now on to Monster Pub generation 2. Which I can only assume takes the Mister Devil and makes it better. Even though I haven’t had a chance to get the upgraded version of this toy, I think its fairly safe to assume this review should pretty much cover the generation 2, in my bit of research I didn’t see any wildly, life-changing alterations made between gen 1 and gen 2 of the toy. Some of the noticeable differences is the design of the tail, its got a chubbier tail (which I think solves one of my issues with this toy), it has a more noticeable power button, it has cute little arms (IT’S EVOLVING… IT HAS ARMS), and it comes with its own little base to sit in! Oh… also, the gen 2 is self-heating… proving that its demonic powers are just growing as it ages… (also, who doesn’t love a warm toy?!).

It wasn’t an earth shattering toy for me, but I did enjoy the Monster Pub Mister Devil. I can get behind the concept. And I think if you are able to get your hands on the generation 2, you will see some of my issues with this toy solved. I think for a wearable vibe, this works fairly well. I could see inserting this and going out and about in public. It isn’t terribly loud (especially once its inserted and you put some pants on) and is reasonably comfortable to wear for long periods of time (for me a long period of time is about an hour). Other than being a demon baby from hell, I think Mister Devil is a pretty solid toy. Also, I think its is an excellent toy for any Littles out there… look how cute it is! The Little in me squeed when I first saw this toy. If you want a wearable vibrator, I feel pretty comfortable recommending this one. I can’t recommend it with 100% confidence, just because I can’t be sure that the toy will fit your body exactly… but even with the tail being a bit off for me, I still enjoyed the vibrator. It’s not the worst, it could probably be better (and maybe gen 2 is) but I have definitely experienced worse wearable vibrators!

You may have a harder time finding this vibrator for purchase. Sistalk is not based here in the States. They are a Chinese company that has been working to break into the American market. So you will have to purchase directly from Sistalk, as I’ve yet to see it carried by any of the other retailers I work with. Also, after a quick Google search they may not be marketing with the brand name Sistalk anymore… it looks like it may just be Monster Pub at this point (at least here in the US). But don’t worry, whatever they are calling themselves these day… I can hook you up with the correct purchase link, because I want you to be haunted by these tiny demon creatures just like I am…

To bring your demon baby home jump on over to Monster Pub and choose between Mister Devil, Gokilla, or Dr. Whale (who I thought was a cobra, but turns out I was looking at it upside-down).

The Sistalk Monster Pub Mister Devil was provided to me free of charge by Sistalk in exchange for my honest review. 

The post Monster Pub Mister Devil – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

Can a person be haunted by a dildo? I’m asking for a friend. That friend is me. I think I’m being haunted by a dildo. Okay… let me explain…

Awhile back I was given a dildo as a gift. It was a lovely purple Tantus Echo Vibrating Dildo… which was a cool gift. I like sex toys, you can’t go wrong giving me sex toys. The Echo sat on my “to be used” shelf for ages… it just sat there, gathering dust, waiting for the day it would fulfil its glorious purpose and slide head first into my vagina. But that day never came. As time passed I became more and more swamped with work. I was being sent boxes of toys for review and I just never found the time for the poor Tantus Echo. Then one day I noticed it was no longer on the shelf where I had left it. The Echo had disappeared! I didn’t think too much of it, since my office is a complete disaster and I lose things in here all the time. I forgot all about the purple Echo and moved on with my life… that is until a box arrived from Tantus and inside was the Tantus Echo! Only this Echo wasn’t a lovely deep purple… this Echo was ghostly white… a mere echo of its former self…

Is this my Echo come back to haunt me?! IS THIS A GHOST DILDO?!

Being as we are balls deep in Spooky Month… I wouldn’t doubt it. The veil between worlds is thinnest this time of year… so it would make sense that the spirit of a long lost dildo would find its way back to me… now, how does one deal with a paranormal dildo? Who do I call for that one?

I really regret not using the Echo when it was still alive (assuming… this is a ghost version of my previous dildo)… I was really missing out on something special. I mean, if you’ve been paying attention to my reviews at all you should know my great fondness for textured toys. Just look at the ridges on this toy, sensational.  It’s just ridge after ridge, bump after bump… the texture on this toy just doesn’t quit! How could I not instantly love this toy!

Seriously, this toy is a texture lovers wet dream. Running down the shaft of the toy are four very pronounced horizontal ridges (five if we count the bump that the head of the toy creates) that feel absolutely heavenly running across my vaginal walls. Seriously, the stimulation I get from this toy is just… beyond words… I am floored every time I use this toy.

The packaging says its perfect for g-spot stimulation, but I think I kind of have to disagree with that. But only kind of. Just let me register some light disagreement here. Like, the head is pronounced enough that it is possible for me to get some g-spot action going, the head does definitely hit my g-spot and I can definitely feel pressure on my g-spot. But I really can’t thrust this toy into my g-spot, so its really hard for me to get enough stimulation going to trigger any kind of g-spot orgasm or even just real pleasure from it. This is due mainly to how heavily textured the toy is, its not a dildo that I can thrust wildly with. My vaginal walls like the feeling of the textured ridges… but not so much as to be wildly assaulted by them at a quick pace… that just becomes to much for me. When I’m using a heavily textured toy like this I like to take things nice and slow.

This is also the perfect dildo for just clenching around. Its great for just inserting and letting it stay where it lays, I like having that feeling of fullness as I concentrate my efforts on my clit with a vibrator (usually the We-Vibe Tango). There is something kind of magical about just squeezing around the Echo’s ridges as I edge myself closer and closer to an orgasm with my clit.

Also, the round, flared base of this toy makes it great for two things. First of all, it makes it harness compatible. I have the Tantus Nurse Connoisseur Harness and this fit beautifully in the dildo hole (there is probably a better word for this, but I can’t think what it is right now… my mind is a little pre-occupied with… you know… being haunted). I haven’t had a chance to actually peg with it yet, but I did wear it around in the harness and it fit well and wasn’t too heavy (heavy dildos sometimes droop and I enjoy wearing them less).

The second great thing about the flared base is the it makes the Tantus Echo anal safe! I did try this anally, however I didn’t get very far. My butt just doesn’t like heavy texture in the same way that my vagina does. I got maybe two or three ridges in and had to stop, it was too overwhelming in the sensation department. But I think this would make a great anal toy… I’ll try it again sometime.

The Tantus Echo is billed as a vibrator, but I mostly just use it as a straight up dildo. It comes with a pretty average bullet vibe that inserts into a cavity at the bottom of the toy. This causes the dildo to transform into a vibrator… though I feel like that is being pretty generous. To me it just feels like buzzy silicone. Its kind of a fun added feature, but I definitely think of the Echo more as a dildo than a vibrator. The bullet on its own isn’t terrible, its a little buzzy but it does have some oomph to it. I have at times used the dildo and the bullet separately, clenching around the dildo and using its bullet vibe on my clit. The bullet vibe is pretty basic, to turn it on just press and hold the button at the base. Continuing to press the button will cycle it through its three modes. Then press and hold to turn it back off again.

Size-wise the Echo is reasonably average for a dildo. It has an insertable length of 6.5 inches (7 inches in length total from top to bottom) and a diameter of 1.55 inches (which I believe is a pretty average girth for a human penis) at its widest point tapering down to 1.2 inches near the base of the toy.

The Tantus Echo is  100% silicone made from of Tantus’ own ultra-premium silicone formula. It is semi-firm (which seems to be the default for most of their toys) and doesn’t have a whole lot of squish and give to it. If the semi-firmness of the Echo is too much for you, the Echo is available in a super-soft silicone version, I have the Tantus Super Soft Vamp and I LOVE the way the silicone feels. The squish of their super soft toys is wonderful. Also, being made from silicone, these are pretty easy to clean and care for. You can clean it in the sink, give it a quick dip in boiling water, do the 10% bleach solution thing, but I personally like to drop my silicone toys in the dishwasher every so often (top rack, no soap).

Recommendation? Yes. Just yes. I 100% recommend this dildo. I especially recommend it for the texture obsessed (like me), I think this dildo is a must have. Hopefully giving me orgasms doesn’t complete my ghostly Echo’s unfinished business. I worry that my Echo will now move on and I’ll be without one of my latest favorite toys. Hopefully my Tantus Echo chooses to stick around and haunt my vagina for many years to come.

Looking for a Tantus Echo to haunt your home? Pick one up directly from Tantus!

The Tantus Echo Vibrating Dildo was purchased by Kitten Boheme with her own personal funds.

The post Tantus Echo Vibrating Dildo – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

Do any of you remember Salad Fingers? The Blush Novelties Noje Quiver reminds me so much of Salad Fingers.

Don’t ask me why… I don’t know if I can really explain my train of thought. But it does… it really does. It was my first thought when I saw it back in December… well before I was even thinking of Spooky Month.

Salad Fingers has haunted me since 2005. That’s 15 years of of Salad Fingers constantly occupying a tiny dark corner of my mind… but it wasn’t until I saw the Blush Noje Quiver That Salad Fingers broke through to my conscious brain and I was forced to relive the whole thing.

“The feeling of rust…. against my salad fingers… is almost orgasmic…”

The Quiver is long and spindly… Salad Fingers is long and spindly… that’s really the only connection I can think of… but since it is Spooky Month… and Salad Fingers has haunted me for many, many years… I feel like it is appropriate that I review the Noje Quiver now. Because I want everyone who had forgotten about Salad Fingers to suddenly remember Salad Fingers and I want those who were living blissfully unaware of what Salad Fingers was to have to google it and watch all the Youtube videos then wonder why you wasted so many minutes of your life on it (as I did in the past… and did again when I was suddenly re-aware of Salad Fingers existence).

The Blush Noje Quiver however is not a waste of time. You will never regret the time you’ve spent using the Noje Quiver. The Noje Quiver is sweet, sweet magic all wrapped up in a goofy looking package. If you are at all familiar with the Zumio, the Quiver looks quite similar to that. It is a long, thing, vaguely pencil like vibrator meant for some serious pinpoint stimulation. However, unlike the Zumio the Quiver comes with a couple of neat accessories. In my opinion, these added removable heads makes the Quiver extra suitable for Spooky Month because you can rip off one head and smash on a brand new head… a head more to your liking… right onto the neck of the Quiver. If vicious beheadings and swapping of appendages is not Spooky Month approved… I don’t know what is!

So, as I said earlier the Quiver comes with two disembodied heads… I mean… attachments, the Tapper and the Bunny. Both of these are suitably creepy if you look at them long enough. The Tapper looks like a severed alien finger. Where a normal human finger would have finger prints, this alien finger has a series of textured bumps and nubs and fleshy grooves. The alien finger… errr… I mean the Tapper…  is good for softer, lighter stimulation. It almost feels like someone is very lightly tapping against my clit… which I guess, hence the name.  I think this attachment is excellent for clit stroking (and tapping), especially where you want to achieve a more teasing effect instead of going straight for orgasm gold (which is usually what I do… I often have very little patience for teasing and foreplay). If you use the backside of the finger, the smooth side, you are able to achieve slightly deeper vibrations over a broader area than you get using the textured tapping side.

The Bunny is pretty self-explanatory, typically if you see anything with rabbit ears the idea is to center your clit between the ears. Although don’t feel like that’s the only way to use it… I also enjoy putting my nipples in between the rabbit ears… depending on the rabbit I often enjoy this more than having it on my clit. If you have a penis, go ahead and get those rabbit ears going on the head of the penis, I’ve had great success teasing my Stunt Cock by placing the rabbit ears just on the underside of the head, right on the ridge. The intensity of the vibration kind of depends where on the Bunny attachment you use it, if you go high up on the ears you will just get the softest quiver of vibration, where as if you go deeper down and nearer the head you will start to feel something more intense. I really wasn’t able to get good clitoral stimulation from it, it was all just so feather light and I need so much more than that to actually orgasm from my clit, I think the vibrations must have a harder time traveling up those Bunny ears, it ends up feeling quite dampened and light. So, I just started using the Bunny’s face smashed up against my clit, that is where the vibration felt the deepest, most rumbly to me.

Honestly, I don’t need either of these attachments to enjoy the Quiver. I enjoy the Quiver totally naked, headless, completely unadulterated. I can see using either of the heads as teasers, but when it comes time to orgasm, I want nothing between me and that pinpoint head of the Quiver. Just like the Zumio, I am just completely floored by how amazing the little bulb feels nestled up next to my clit. I love me those direct, focused oscillations… mmmm.

Operating the Quiver is pretty straight forward. On the handle of the Quiver are a series of three buttons, a down arrow, the power button, and an up arrow… I am pretty sure you can guess what these do. Press and hold the power button (the one in the middle) to turn the toy on, press and hold it again when its time to turn the toy off again. While the toy is on and vibrating use the up and down arrows to adjust your intensity. There are seven different intensity levels to choose from and zero patterns, which suites me just fine… I normally hate patterns. The vibrations seem to range from rumbly to buzzy, there is a little bit of something for everyone within those seven levels. Although if you are very sensitive, none of these levels may work for you… but with one of the added attachments it should town down the vibrations quite a bit. With such direct, pin point stimulation I find that I really only need to go up a couple of levels… if I go any higher than a 3 or 4 I am left gasping and really can’t take it. I swear, this thing can suck an orgasm out of me in seconds flat.

My one and only complaint about the Quiver is that the toy stops working if I try to put pressure down on it. With some light pressure the vibrations seem to slow and almost feel rumblier to me, but if I press down as hard as I wish I could the toy just stops. It isn’t the worst thing in the world, the toy is still amazing regardless of this fact… but it would be at least 25% more amazing if I could get deeper pressure with it. Though I suppose the fragility of the toy might be one reason for the lack of deep pressure, I would be worried about the neck snapping if I were allowed to press down as hard as I wanted.

The Noje Quiver itself is made of a satin smooth ABS plastic while both disembodied head attachments are 100% silicone. The Quiver also says that it is IPX7 waterproof… which I had to google, because I had no idea what that meant. Apparently it means that the Quiver can be submerged up to 1 meter in water for 30 minutes… so go ahead and take the Quiver into the bath with you! This also makes the Quiver easy to clean, run it under some running water and give it a good wipe and you are good to go! Also, for extra cleaning power you can toss the silicone attachments into some boiling water for a minute or two.

Charging the toy is also pretty easy. It comes with a magnetic charger that attaches at the bottom back of the toy (opposite side of the buttons). It is a USB charger so you will need to have a computer or wall charger handy (but I feel like we all have one or the other on hand these days).

I don’t think I can recommend this hard enough or fast enough. I honestly loved this toy so much. I have actually been using it more than my Doxy lately… I never thought a toy would come along that would unseat the Doxy as my most used bedside toy… but the Blush Novelties Noje Quiver has managed to snatch that crown. I love that I essentially get Doxy sized vibes (maybe not as rumbly, but certainly as powerful) in a easier to manage package. While I would be kind of hesitant to recommend this toy to those with a sensitive clitoris… unless they were feeling adventurous… because I do think that the silicone attachments would help dampen some of the intensity to a more manageable level but I also know that we don’t all have the budget to buy a toy we may not like. If you like pin point stimulation though… you need to try the Quiver out… it is fantastic! Its also especially good for those who have been eying the Zumio, but aren’t ready to commit to its triple digit price tag… the Quiver is much more budget friendly!

If the beheading your vibrator doesn’t make you squeamish you can pick up your Blush Novelties Noje Quiver from SheVibe!

The post Blush Novelties Noje Quiver – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

Well, it’s November (or is it still March…one looooong month of March… time has meant nothing to me for most of 2020… ) and dang if I ain’t sick of staring at the inside of my house! I mean… I am happy to be doing my part to “flatten the curve” (but its not flattening… so…) and I will avoid people as long as I have to (I mean… I avoid people anyway… so that’s not real different for me)… but I miss avoiding people while being places. I am so ready for this covid pandemic to end.

To stave off the boredom I started cataloging, re-organizing, and putting together a new storage system for my (giant) sex toy collection. In the process I found a toy I forgot I even had… the Uberrime Vivo! It kind of felt like Christmas come early… because you know how much I love a good Uberrime dildo! I felt like the dildo fairy must have made as stop by my house and dropped this beautiful hunk of silicone off just for me!

I mean I guess… technically… we could call Marco of Uberrime a dildo fairy… and he did send this to me… so technically I’m not wrong.

So, the very first thing that caught my eye is the dildo’s coloring. 1. Because Uberrime does the most fantastic job at silicone pours and every color they turn out is a goddamn masterpiece. But also 2. They are superhero themed. Yes, you heard me right… SUPERHERO THEMED dildos… I know, I can hear half of you groaning… but the other half of you, the half of you who are excited about this… you are my  people.

My particular Vivo came in a blue and red marbled combination… which represents… (can you guess?) Spider Man. Which is actually one of my least favorite of the Super Heroes… but I’ve been coming around to the character since Tom Holland took over the movie role (he’s a cutie-patootie). My particular Vivo is actually called the “Parker” but… we all know that is just code for Spider Man. Also available in the superhero Vivo collection are Banner (a green and purple Hulk), Stark (a red and gold Iron Man) and my personal favorite Logan (a blue and gold Wolverine).

Yes, I know I am easily swayed by a good gimmick. Be it an adorable dildo, or a weird vibrator, or a fucking superhero colored masterpiece… I love these things. But at least, coming from Uberrime, there is like a 98.9% (my statistics are completely made up, take no scientific stock in them) chance of this also being an excellent dildo as well as an excellently colored dildo. So, superheroes aside… let’s talk Vivo!

The Vivo is a silicone dildo (because duh, Uberrime only deals in quality silicone toys) which has a total length of 7 inches, with something like 6.5 of those inches being insertable length. The head is a chubby little thing with a diameter of 1.83 inches… so compared to your average dildo head it is a wee bit thicker (I like them thicc…). The shaft of the Vivo is somewhat tapered, beginning at 5.25 inches at the base and ending in a slightly smaller circumference of 4.5 inches. Overall, Vivo’s size is probably what I would call slightly larger than average… it isn’t huge (not a size royallty dildo by any means)… but it is slightly bigger than the average human penis or “standard” dildo. It isn’t an overly firm dildo though, I believe I read that it is poured with a shore 8 silicone, which makes it a medium soft density, which should be pretty comfortable for most people to use without the (slightly) extra girth feeling like too much. It’s firm enough to hold its shape well and be good for thrusting, but still has a nice squish to it.

Let’s just linger a bit longer on the Vivo’s chubby head.  I really feel like that is the Vivo’s star feature right here. I am ever so slightly obsessed with the size and shape of its head… and the ease at which I am able to put firm, delicious, pressure against my vaginal wall. The wide head hits my g-spot like a dream… or if you use it anally (and you can, because, flared base) it should also be a pro at stimulating the p-spot.

In use I absolutely loved the spine-like ridges near the head of the toy. I like just that little pop pop of texture as I thrust in an out. I also really enoyed those textured ridges when I used it anally. I can’t handle a ton of texture when I’m using a toy in my butt… but this was perfect, it was just enough to give a little added stimulation without my sphincter feeling assaulted.

Cleaning the Uberrime Vivo is like the easiest thing in the world… since its silicone you have many options when it comes time to cleanse your new BIOFF (best inanimate object friend forever). I personally mostly just sink with tap water and a little soap and call it a day. If I feel like things are needing a more deep clean I will either boil them, or if I am doing multiple dildos at once I will throw them into the top rack of my dish washer and run a cycle (no soap). There isn’t a lot of deep texture (ridges and grooves) where stuff likes to collect, which makes it a pretty low maintenance toy… which is nice, I’m not always a fan of having to pull out a toothbrush to clean gunk from deep ridges… time consuming cleaning isn’t my favorite feature of a toy.

Fun fact: The Vivo is part of a set of three toys. Spiro, Vivo, and Amo… “I breathe, I live, I love.” Pretty deep stuff for dildos. I’m pretty sure I’m not making this fun fact up. I am like 98.9% sure I had this conversation with Marco and I’m not just remembering things from my dreams. Now I’m starting to doubt my fun fact… no, no… it must be true. Also, I just recently reviewed the Spiro as part of spooky month, so you should definitely check that out… I own the Amo as well, but that review is still pending.

I’m sure this is pretty obvious already, but I absolutely do recommend the Uberrime Vivo. It is a fantastically made silicone toy. The toy is really thoughtfully designed, I nothing on the toy felt frivolous and it doesn’t feel like its lacking in anyway. I genuinely loved using this dildo in both my holes.

Looking to buy the Uberrime Vivo? Well no look further! Pick this heroic dildo at SheVibe (along with all its superhero pals and other Uberrime toys).

The Uberrime Vivo was provided to me free of charge by Uberrime in exchange for my honest review. 

The post Uberrime Vivo – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

Have you ever thought to yourself “I want a butt plug. But make it egg.”

Because if you have had those thoughts rolling around in your head… have I got a butt plug for you! The SquarePegToys Egg Plug! Much as the name suggests… this plug is very eggy. At first glance I thought it was very reminiscent of the Tantus Ryder only slightly less oblong and more… eggy. Being as the Tantus Ryder is my be all and end all of butt plugs… my ride or die… I had really high hopes that the SquarePegToys Egg Plug would live up to the high expectations I have placed on rounded egg-like plugs.

One of the first things that struck my about this plug was just how squishy it is. It is so delightfully fucking squishy. When they labled this plug as being SuperSoft they weren’t joking around. I don’t think I have ever in my life felt a butt plug with this much soft squish to it. I love it. The squish is really what sets this plug apart from others I have used, my butt can’t get enough of it.  This is literally one of the most comfortable butt plugs I have used to date.

Even though the soft silicone is definitely the selling point of this toy for me, I did find I needed to be warmed up a bit before being able to insert the Egg Plug. If I tried to go straight in with the Egg Plug with a cold sphincter, I found that more often than not the toy would just lose all structural integrity and just kind of fold in on itself (that sounds far more dramatic then it actually is, the silicone is just soft and it folds if it meets too much resistance from my butt). Like… its so squishy that the poor little thing can barely support its own head… if I stand it up on its base the bulb droops forward. Luckily, this whole situation is rectified by using a couple of fingers or a dildo and giving my butt hole a quick “hey, how ya doing” probe with a healthy dollop of lube. Once my butt is on board with what’s going on, the Egg Plug slides right in and my greedy little booty gobbles it right up.

To be fair, I’ve never found it perfectly easy to insert a plug with a blunt, rounded head, even if the silicone is firm. They don’t ease in in quite the same way as a tapered plug. Like, a plug with a more pointed tapered head gently knocks on my butt hole, politely asking to be let in… where as these round plugs are banging on the door demanding to be admitted entrance.

Once inserted I knew instantly that I was in love with this plug. First off, it was comfortable AF. Also, the wide egg shape left me feeling full with just a hint of stretched out. The thicker neck of the Egg Plug is also interesting, normally I like something with a thinner neck that I can close around. Usually its that feeling of fullness I like, I don’t normally need the sphincter stretch at the same time, but in this case I didn’t mind the thick neck and the stretch. I think because the silicone is so plush it just felt more comfortable. A great thing about this plug is it was kind of the perfect foreplay to anal sex. Since my butthole was left open, it stayed loose and warmed up and was ready to welcome penis penetration. I could totally see wearing this on like a date night… spend the whole evening with my butthole just slightly ajar… ready for whatever might happen later…

Although I feel I should mention, because the neck is rather short, it has taken me some practice (and patience) to move around without the plug threatening to slide out. And because the neck is wider I can’t grip tight around it… because its keeping my butthole ajar (if you want a plug with a really thin neck I recommend the B-Vibe Snug Plug… I really like this plug as well). This isn’t a deal breaker for me, it just took some getting used to.

A rather neat thing about the Egg Plug is that it comes in nine different sizes. Yeah, you heard me… you have nine plug options to choose from, ranging from extra small to the aptly named Monster. When deciding on which size to ask for there was a nagging little voice in the back of my head telling me to get the Monster… bring the Monster home… look at that behemoth he’s so thicccccc… but I knew 100% I wouldn’t actually be able to take 11.3 inches of girth into my rather shy little asshole. I think it was my vagina speaking… I think my vagina wanted me to get the Monster and then use it as a vaginal plug. In the end, I decided to go the more conservative route and get a plug I knew I could take comfortably. So I asked for the small, which is a respectable 4.2 inches in height with a circumference of 4.8 inches. A great thing about there being so many sizes is that once you’ve mastered one size there is room to move up! The plugs are all sized up at pretty reasonable increments as well, you won’t feel overwhelmed by any massive jumps. A great plug for anal stretching!

SquarePegToys is one of those brands I’ve kind of slept on as I have never really found anything visually appealing about them. Frankly, I’ve always found their available color selection to be gross. I really want to like the idea of a bronze colored toy… but it just ends up looking a bit too much like shiny baby poo to me. Black is pretty standard. The graphite is probably the only color I find reasonably pleasing… though I wouldn’t choose that over a colorfully marbled silicone masterpiece. I also kind of hate that the color you choose is tied to the firmness of the silicone, so you can’t have a supersoft black… because black is firm. Though, it does give SquarePegToys a nice consistent theme and I totally can take one look at one of their toys and know that it absolutely came from them and what I’m looking at. Overall, I think the SquarePegToys have a very rugged feel to them aesthetic wise (which is fine… It’s just not the vibe I tend to trend towards). Of course, this is all just personal opinion and has absolutely no bearing on the actual functionality of the toys, but I do prefer my toys to have just a wee bit more personality in the color department. BUT THAT’S JUST ME!

Thankfully my butt doesn’t see color, so once I’ve inserted the plug, its really an out of sight out of mind issue. Honestly, if the toy is good… I can look past its aesthetic failings.

The only possible con of this toy I can think of is that for a true beginner the insertion of this plug has the potential to be slightly frustrating because of its tendency to want to fold as its pushed against the sphincter muscles. I also want to believe that this becomes less of an issue the larger in size you go, because the necks get thicker the further up the size scale you go. This quickly became one of my favorite plugs… possibly even surpassing the Tantus Ryder for the coveted #1 anal toy position… or at least they are in a dead heat tie. Do I think its ugly? Absolutely, whole heartedly… it looks like a craft project gone wrong… or something you would find in a baby’s diaper (I’m probably being too hard on the poor thing, I’m just in a mood… its actually not that bad…). Do I like it? You bet your sweet butt I do… this is a fantastic toy… it may not be the prettiest plug at the ball, but it is definitely one of the best. It is definitely comfy enough for long term wear, although because of the thick neck propping my butthole open, I am unable to actually retain it for much longer than 30 minutes or so (I can wear it much longer if all I’m doing is laying flat on my back). So if your plan is to have a long term plug, I would recommend this one to a more experienced user… if you are new to long term wear you might find a thinner neck plug easier to hold on to (like the B-Vibe I recommended earlier or maybe a Njoy Plug). Overall though, I am super happy to recommend this plug, I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Ready to bring home this SquarePeg Toys Egg Plug (or any of its other 8 friends)? Pick one up at Peepshow Toys!

The SquarePegToys Egg Plug was provided to me free of charge by Peepshow Toys in exchange for my honest review.

The post SquarePegToys Egg Plug – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

I don’t know about you, but I have become an online shopping pro this year. I have barely left my house since March, I have figured out how to shop online for almost everything. If I can’t buy it online and have it shipped to me or brought to me curbside… is it even worth buying?

So, if  like me, you too have become the online shopping wizard… here are some great online Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales that you can shop from the comfort of your own bed! Also, by buying more sex toys, you are just doing your part to flatten the curve and end the pandemic… because you’ll be masturbating so much you won’t have time to leave the house and infect other people with coronavirus. So for the safety of your community, you simply must buy all the sex toys.

Be sure to bookmark this page and visit often! Early access sales have already begun and things will change rapidly as we get closer to Black Friday!

BLACK FRIDAY/CYBER MONDAY SALES ARE HERE!

Note: Some links may appear ‘dead’ or inactive until the sale goes live. Whenever possible, I’ve listed the sales start and end dates underneath each sale image!

Use the links below to jump straight to a particular sale!

 Lovehoney | Shevibe | Tantus | Fleshlight | Peepshow Toys | Stockroom | Betty’s Toy Box| Pleasure Chest | Naughty Betty’s | Kiiroo | Liberator | We-Vibe | Smitten Kitten | Luvoqa | Adult Empire | MEO | Kink.com

LOVEHONEY

• Black Friday Early Access Sale: Find up to 50% off on Sex Toys, Bondage, Lingerie and more!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP LOVEHONEY’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

SHEVIBE

• Black Friday Sales TBA!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP SHEVIBE’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

TANTUS

• Black Friday Sales TBA!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP TANTUS’ BLACK FRIDAY SALES

FLESHLIGHT

• Black Friday Sales TBA!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP FLESHLIGHT’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

PEEPSHOW TOYS

• Black Friday Sales TBA!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP PEEPSHOW TOYS’ BLACK FRIDAY SALES

STOCKROOM

• Black Friday Mont Week 3 Sale: Find up to 30% off select Stockroom Originals Bondage Gear!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP STOCKROOM’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

Betty’s Toy Box

• Black Friday Sales TBA!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP BETTY’S TOY BOX’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

The post Black Friday & Cyber Monday 2020 Sex Toy Sales and Deals appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

Whoa! Hey! Did you know that August 14th is Left Handers day! Do you know who is super cool and left handed?! Me. It’s me! I’m left handed!

Not only do I write with my left hand, but I masturbate with my left hand as well! And today, on this most sacred left handed day I bestowed my favor upon the Svakom Siren and masturbated, left-handedly, as is the Gods intended.

Actually, I am fairly ambidextrous when I masturbate… but I do favor my left hand most of the time. Because the left hand is the cool hand, everyone knows that.

Okay, I know it’s no longer August 14th… in fact, it’s no longer even August anymore (hello January, when did you get here? … What do you mean January is almost over? It took me an embarrassingly long time to finish this review!)… but I’m posting this as I wrote it anyway… because left handed people need more love and attention… and because I don’t waste content around here… I’m all about the three R’s (Reduce, Reuse, Recycle… and that goes for content… actually, I don’t want to reduce my content… so I guess.. two R’s… I don’t know… this is getting ridiculous and out of hand… lets move on quickly).

When this toy arrived and I unboxed it… I instantly knew I did not want to like this toy. It just doesn’t look at all like something that should be liked. It’s like… some kind of terrifying, eyeless, limbless, deep sea monstrosity rising from the deepest darkest depths to attack your clit. It’s horrifying. I’ve read a handful of other reviews of the Siren and those folks compare it to something more floral, like a tulip… but I don’t see it. It is definitely something from a nightmare… I mean… look at those mouth prongs…it has serrated teeth… do flowers have mouth prongs with serrated teeth?! I DON’T THINK SO! I almost feel like I should be saving this review and add the Svakom Siren to my 2020 Spooky Month line up (P.S. stay tuned for my Spooky Month countdown to Halloween starting on October 1st)!

I had to remind myself of that age old saying, ” you can’t judge a book by its cover.” Or in this case, you can’t judge a sex toy by it’s terrifying eyeless stare. It might turn out to be the best sex toy I’ve ever used… I won’t know unless I try it! Spoiler… turns out, it is not the best toy I’ve ever used. So, I put aside my strong feelings about the Sirens deep sea aesthetics and pressed the flesh (that doesn’t sound right) with my Siren.

OMG, y’all…  so… I don’t want to keep beating a dead horse here… but, I just went to the Svakom website to look up some stats and measurements on this toy and the Siren is pictured in water with jelly fish floating around it… this does nothing to assuage the deep sea terror vibes I get from this toy. Did Svakom actually mean for it to look like a sea creature!? Were they aiming for something more majestic like a jelly fish… or even a harmless squid… but overshot the mark and land on something in between hag fish and goblin shark? I NEED ANSWERS! WHY DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THIS!

Okay, so…I was 100% confused by this thing when I pulled it out and pressed it against my clit. I was completely underwhelmed by the vibrations fluttering between the… mouth prongs… like… so underwhelmed I’m pretty sure I yawned and started thinking about what to make for lunch, instead of enjoying an orgasm (I decided on chips and guacamole… in case your curious). I tossed the toy down in frustration and figured it was a dud and I was ready to write my scathing review then and there. BUT THEN I realized I was using it wrong… whoops… even skilled sex bloggers such as myself make mistakes. I was so taken by the Sirens mouth prongs that I failed to fully comprehend what the toy really was. It is a DUAL ended toy… which means both the mouth prongs end and the more ball shaped end are usable… and both ends have their own vibrations. Apparently I only turned on the vibrations to what I assumed was only the handle… which knowing that… the vibrations actually traveled pretty well into the mouth prongs. Once I had all that sorted, I turned on the vibrations to the mouth prongs end and it was like I was holding a whole different toy! I mean… it didn’t magically turn into something I loved… but it was something I was able to masturbate with.

Once I realized it was a dual ended vibrator, I had to choose which end I was going to work with. I decided to try again with the “rabbit eared” mouth pronged end… since that is the more intriguing end of the Siren. And okay, yes… I did orgasmed with this end of the toy (twice even), but I just smashed it against my clit. The flicking prongs were set too wide to really do much to my shy little clit and it wasn’t really doing anything for me. I think this would be a lot more fun for someone with a bigger, more pronounced clit. Even using a couple of fingers to try to coax my clit out didn’t really change the outcum (tee-hee… I just miss-typed “outcome” but it’s the most perfect spelling error ever, so I’m leaving it), the flickering mouth of the nightmare creature was all bark and no bite. Smashing it against my clit was alright though, so the vibrations to have enough oomph to them to get me off… so all is not lost. I think this is just an anatomy thing, this end of the toy will probably work perfectly for someone else. The mouth prongs (I can’t stop calling them that… I’ve tried to come up with a better word, but I just can’t) did work really well for nipple stimulation though… I’ll give it that.

Okay, the wilder side of the Siren wasn’t a big winner for me, but remember… it’s double sided! So The Siren gets a second chance to impress me! This end of the toy, the “handle” end as I’ve been calling it consists of a bulbous… uh… bulb. This end can be inserted or used as an external vibrator. I wasn’t really wowed by it, but I have no complaints about it either. It did the trick for me, pushed it against my clit, cranked up the vibrations, and off I went to orgasm town.

The silicone of the Siren is soft and smooth, which made for comfortable insertion of the toy. I don’t have a whole lot to say about how it felt inserted, it’s smaller than I normally like and there isn’t a whole lot of useable length so I didn’t really do much more than some shallow thrusting. I had zero orgasms with it inserted, so for me the Siren is a purely external toy. But it didn’t feel terrible… so I have no doubt there is someone out there who will really enjoy the insertion of the bulby end.

The Svakom Siren has dual motors (a motor for each end), which can be operated simultaneously or one at a time. There are two buttons on the shaft of the toy, one button for each end. This is something I didn’t realize at first… I press and held what I thought was the power button and the toy sprang to life so I figured the second button must control the vibrations… but no… this is not how it works. How the Siren actually works is that the two buttons on the shaft of the toy each operate one of the toys two motors. So the button closest to the bulbed end controls the vibrations for that end of the toy, while the button closest to the monster tongue flaps controls those… that should be relatively easy to remember. When you turn the toy on they begin at their middle intensity setting… which is weird… but that’s cool… I’m just used to toys starting on their lowest setting and you can adjust upwards from there. To adjust the intensities of either end you just click their respective buttons until you have found the setting you are after. The bulb end has five vibration intensities and if you double click the button you can access its five pattern modes and each of these five patterns can be adjusted to any of the five intensity levels (giving you 25 choices on this end of the vibrator). The flappy tongue end is somewhat less impressive and only has three vibration intensities and does not have a pattern function mode.

The color of the Svakom is actually more or an orangey color… maybe even kind of coral… I feel like my photos make it look far more red than it is. I don’t know what happened… yes I do… bad lighting… because I bent over and my fat ass knocked over my umbrella lights and I shattered the bulb… so… until I am able to get a new bulb to replace the one I broke… I fear my photos will have wonky lighting for a bit… or I’ll just be doing a whole lot of outdoor photos for awhile (good news… since writing this review… an awesome person sent me new light bulbs… so maybe I’ll get around to updating this photos with something more color accurate…).

With a name like Siren, I’d like to get more magical mermaid vibes and less it came from the black lagoon vibes. I appreciate the innovation and the willingness to go outside the box… and I like the versatile two-in-one design, but at the end of the day the Svakom Siren is just not a home run for me. I’m not sure if this is due to the design of the toy itself or if its due mostly to my own anatomy. While the vibrations aren’t amazing (and a little buzzy) they are reasonably strong – they did get me off after all (but if you like your vibrations Hitachi powerful you will be sorely disappointed). I also don’t really like the flickering tongue thing… that is a gimmick that just never thrills me, it lacks the kind of pin-point stimulation I really crave and rarely does vibration carry through the flickering enough to really wow me. Then it had the added bonus (curse?) of having those flickering flaps be kind of rabbit eared… which also never work for me… so it was just a double whammy of things I don’t like. The bulbed end seemed pretty promising, but I wish it was longer, or the bulb fatter, or that there was enough of a curve to send the bulb up into my g-spot… the short and shallow insertion really didn’t do much for me either. But I am positive somewhere out there is a person who loves all the things I hate… in which case… you might like this toy! Maybe you are just a collector of the weird and unique… in which case the Svakom Siren would be right at home in your collection of masturbatory oddities! Overall, it is an interesting style of vibrator and I really like that it has a dual motor set-up (just wish it had a bit more oomph to it)… while it’s not my toy (I could see myself actually enjoying this toy with maybe a few tweaks… so its alllllllmost there), I am confident there must be someone who will actually enjoy this sea creature–err, vibrator.

You can pick up the Svakom Siren direct from Svakom!

The Svakom Siren was provided to my free of charge by Svakom in exchange for my honest review.

The post Svakom Siren – Sex Toy Review appeared first on Kitten Boheme.

I don’t know about you, but I have become an online shopping pro during this pandemic… like, sure, pre-pandemic I did some online shopping… but now… now I have become a true master of the online shop! I have figured out how to shop online for almost everything. If I can’t buy it online and have it shipped to me or brought to me curbside… is it even worth buying?

So, if  like me, you too have become the online shopping wizard… here are some great online Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales that you can shop from the comfort of your own bed! Also, by staying home, buying more sex toys, and then staying in bed to use those sex toys you are doing your part to help bring a swifter end to this pandemic… because you’ll be masturbating so much you won’t have time to leave the house and infect other people with coronavirus. So for the safety of your community, you simply must buy all the sex toys.

Be sure to bookmark this page and visit often! Early access sales have already begun and things will change rapidly as we get closer to Black Friday!

BLACK FRIDAY/CYBER MONDAY SALES ARE HERE!

Note: Some links may appear ‘dead’ or inactive until the sale goes live. Whenever possible, I’ve listed the sales start and end dates underneath each sale image!

Use the links below to jump straight to a particular sale!

 Lovehoney | Shevibe | Tantus | Fleshlight | Peepshow Toys | Stockroom | Betty’s Toy Box| Kiiroo | Liberator | We-Vibe | Womanizer | Smitten Kitten | Kink.com

LOVEHONEY

• Black Friday MEGA Sale: Find up to 60% off on Sex Toys, Bondage, Lingerie and more!
• Is 60% off not enough of a deal for you? Don’t worry, Lovehoney is offering you an extra 10% off when you spend $100 in the Black Friday Mega Deals sale! Use the code: BFSAVE at checkout!

Also, shipping is FREE when you spend $60!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP LOVEHONEY’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

SHEVIBE

BLACK FRIDAY SALE COMING SOON!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP SHEVIBE’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

TANTUS

BLACK FRIDAY SALE COMING SOON!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP TANTUS’ BLACK FRIDAY SALES

FLESHLIGHT

BLACK FRIDAY SALE COMING SOON!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP FLESHLIGHT’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

PEEPSHOW TOYS

• Black Friday Blowout Sale: Find up to 70% off on select blowout and door buster items! While supplies last! New Blowouts will be launched everyday through Thursday 11/26/2021!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP PEEPSHOW TOYS’ BLACK FRIDAY SALES

STOCKROOM

BLACK FRIDAY SALE COMING SOON!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP STOCKROOM’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

Betty’s Toy Box

BLACK FRIDAY SALE COMING SOON!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP BETTY’S TOY BOX’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

Kiiroo

BLACK FRIDAY SALE COMING SOON!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP KIIROO’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

LIBERATOR

BLACK FRIDAY SALE COMING SOON

CLICK HERE TO SHOP LIBERATOR’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

WE-VIBE 

BLACK FRIDAY SALE COMING SOON!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP WE-VIBE’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

WOMANIZER

BLACK FRIDAY SALE COMING SOON!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP WOMANIZER’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

SMITTEN KITTEN

BLACK FRIDAY SALE COMING SOON!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP SMITTEN KITTEN’S BLACK FRIDAY SALES

KINK.COM

• Kink.com Black Friday Sale: Take 50% off memberships! Use code BLACKFRIDAY2020. This includes 1, 3, 6 and 12 month memberships!

Obviously you are going to need a little porn to go with all your brand new sex toys!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP KINK.COM BLACK FRIDAY SALES

The post Black Friday & Cyber Monday 2021 Sex Toy Sales and Deals appeared first on Kitten Boheme.