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Oh HOT DAMN! It’s November 11th… do you know what that means?! HAPPY SINGLES DAY! Okay… I technically only found out about Singles Day last year… because I’m not cool and hip and never know what is going on… BUT DAMMIT… now that I know about it… I’m going to CELEBRATE IT. If you are like the me of last year and have no idea what I’m talking about… Singles Day is the anti-Valentine’s Day movement started by a group of college kids and a holiday that has steadily grown since its creation in 1993. I think of it as a day to treat yourself… because your awesome… and as Emma Watson (some what oddly) phrased it… “you’re self-partnered.”
Last year I reviewed the Touch Automated Lube and Oil Warmer by Warm because I have an obsession with being warm… especially in November… because here in Minnesota… it is already cold… like really cold… like my hands are a pair of ice-blocks as I write this cold. So when I think of treating myself to something nice in November… it usually has something to do with being warm. This Singles Day is no different… I’m still all about being cozy warm. Which is why I am reviewing the Coco de Mur Massage Candle.
A massage candle?! I must be kidding right?! Massage candles are for people with partners! Let me stop you right there and just say… MASSAGE CANDLES ARE FOR EVERYONE! That’s right… here at KittenBoheme.com we believe that you can use a massage candle regardless of your current person attachment state. Single, couple, throuple, fuck buddies, friends with bennies, someone you only have occasional hate sex with… doesn’t matter… you can use a massage candle… and you should… because they are fucking delightful as hell. Okay… yes… you’re right… you won’t be able to massage your own back (unless you are like… super flexable)… but backs aren’t the only thing that like to be rubbed. When giving myself a solo massage I like to rub my upper arms and what I can reach of my shoulders, my neck, my chest, my legs, my feet, my hands… pretty much… anywhere I can reach… which is most of my body (except for my back… because I’m about as flexible as a plywood board).
I’ve actually had this massage candle for awhile now, but I’ve only just recently started using it. Earlier this summer I reviewed the Olivia’s Boudoir Tuxedo Massage Candle… well, I’ve technically have owned the Coco de Mur candle much longer than I’ve owned that one… I just never got around to testing it out. Part of me was anxious about ruining such a pretty candle… so instead of enjoying it… I just displayed it on my bedside table. Back in high school my friends would gift me novelty shaped candles… things like tie-dyed mushrooms or hand-carved cats… and I would never use them. They would just sit on a shelf, gathering dust, until finally heat and humidity wrped them and made them all weird and ugly… and eventually they disappeared (I think my mom threw them out). So, with that in mind… and the fact that I ended up loving the Olivia’s Boudoir candle… I decided it was time to take the plunge and light up the Coco de Mure Massage Candle.
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The Coco de Mur candle was part of the same prize package as the Uprize and the Happy Rabbit Curve that I won from Lovehoney’s Star Wars Day contest. The idea of the contest was to re-create a scene from Star Wars using sex toys… So I attached my CalExotics Mini Marvels Marvelous Teaser to the back of my Tantus Zombie Gary and then photoshopped them into the Swamps of Dagoba… its utterly ridiculous… and I am as surprised as you are that I won with that madness. BUT… I am super enthused that I did win… because I got some super awesome prizes… which I turned into super awesome reviews… sooo… HOORAY FOR ME!
Okay, so I really liked the last massage candle I reviewed (you know, the Olivia’s Boudoir one)… but… I freakin’ LOVE this Coco de Mur candle. The scent is super addicting… I want to smell like this ALL. THE. TIME. The label calls this scent “Enraptured Figment” which sounds like nonsense but is an amazing combo of fig, cedarwood, ylang ylang, jasmine and orange-blossom that smells like heaven. It also lingers on the skin for quite a long time… so for a couple hours after a massage… I get to walk around the house still smelling like pure magic. I also love the way it feels on my skin… it is very smooth… almost silky… and it glides like a dream. With some lotions, a massage can end up feeling “draggy” as the lotion sinks into skin (at least this is the experience I’ve had… but I don’t buy expensive fancy lotions… I buy lotion from Target…) and you end up having to reapply lotion frequently to keep things comfortable… but with the Coco de Mur Candle… it stays slippy much longer… it felt like I had to do fewer applications of the oil than I would if I was massaging myself with lotion. It does eventually absorb onto your skin though… which is nice… no one wants to feel slick and oily after a massage… that isn’t sexy (or at least its not my sexy).
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“Activating” your massage candle is as easy as lighting a match (or two… or three… if you are spectacularly bad at lighting matches… like I am). Lighting the massage candle is no different than lighting any other candle… it’s like lighting a Yankee Candle… only way sexier. Once you have your candle lit, just wait a few minutes for the oil the melt and once enough has pooled you can blow your candle out and either use the included spoon to scoop the oil out… or (if you are as classy as I am) just dump it straight from the jar. I recommend giving the oil just a second or two to cool after blowing out the flame… unless you like that burning hot wax feeling. When you are finished with your candle, just set it aside to cool and the candle will harden back to its original state.
I feel like I should note, this is not a massage candle for those who have sensitivity to scents, as it is quite strong and can become overpowering if the candle is left lit for too long. I’m sensitive to some scents… and can become very quickly overwhelmed by scents that are super strong or chemical smelling scents. Random… and almost unrelated fact… but since we are talking about scents… the smell of marijuana gives me the worst migraine. Sitting in the same room as someone smoking (or who has recently smoked) will knock me out for the rest of the day with my eyes pounding, my head throbbing, my neck aching… its awful. So anyway… I guess what I am saying here is just be aware of your own or your partners tolerance to scents. If you are planning a special evening with a partner and want to include a massage candle like the Coco de Mure… first find out if they like perfume-like smells.
I highly recommend the Coco de Mer Massage Candle, I think it is absolutely divine! It is great for foreplay fun, an intimate night with a partner, a relaxing solo experience, or a bit of tantalizing sensation play! It’s a very lovely massage candle and totally worthy of treating yourself with this Singles Day!
The Coco de Mer Massage Candles used to be available at Lovehoney… but they are only carrying a few Coco de Mer items at this time (mostly restraints)… I am not sure if there is any plans to restock the massage candles or not. SheVibe also used to carry this candle… but my search is turning up empty there as well. So it looks like if you really want to give the Coco de Mer Massage Candle a try you will have to order direct from Coco de Mer… which is in London… so you’ll be paying for international shipping, unless you live within the UK. If I see one of my preferred retailers stocking this massage candle again, I’ll be sure to update this post!
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The Coco de Mer Massage Candle was a prize in a contest hosted by Lovehoney and won by Kitten Boheme.