Oh! Oh, oh, oh! I have something brand new, something I have never tried before, something that I have been yearning for for a long time! A porcelain dildo! SheVibe made my porcelain dreams come true and sent me the Gustavo Porcelain Alien Dildo by My Fucsia. Gustavo is an adorable little alien and my new best friend. Like, for real… Gustavo and I are tight. We do everything together now, we masturbate together, we watch movies together (Gustavo is partial to Mars Attacks! Which should probably make me nervous…), we enjoy meals together, we go on daily horseback rides together… we really have become inseparable. Sure, I know Gustavo is only a dildo… but it is a dildo with a great personality who is just loads of fun to be around (and have inside… if you know what I mean…).
So, a little bit about My Fucsia, for those of you who are not yet familiar with them (I know I am brand new to them and their toys… and while this may be my first My Fucsia toy, I hope it won’t be my last!). The My Fucsia dildos are designed and handcrafted in Italy. I’ve been to Italy, I’ve had the opportunity to tour many a porcelain shop and factory (I bought an adorable porcelain cat in one of the shops, that I then immediately dropped on the hard wood floor of my hotel room and shattered it into bits…I then bought a porcelain bowl… which has managed to still survive)… so I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that the people of Italy know their way around porcelain and these porcelain dildos are as beautiful as any delicate vase or adorable cat I saw in those shops. The folks at My Fucsia hope that with their lovely dildos that they can move beyond something that is just a sex toy, something that you guiltily stash in the back of your sock drawer and pray that nobody ever finds (personally, I stash my dildos in obvious places and dare someone to find it… but that’s just me, and I’m not 100% normal… but what is normal really…), they strive to turn their dildo’s into something that is both celebrated and proudly displayed by turning their toys into works of art! And I’ve got to say, I absolutely adore Gustavo, my adorable little porcelain dildo… he (she? it?) really is a quirky piece of art that could be displayed and you could keep your guests guessing… Is that a dildo or is it just a weird piece of art you picked up while backpacking through Oregon… or wherever it is people backpack through.
These porcelain dildos are non-porous, hypo-allergenic and amazing for temperature play! The My Fuscia Gustavo has a hollow body and at the bottom of the dildo is a dime sized hole (I had a terrible joke about it being the Alien’s sexual orifice, but I’m not going to make it… because I am far to classy for that…). Use that hole to fill the dildo up with either hot or cold water and let it sit until the dildo has reached your desired temperature. Once your dildo is as hot or as cold as you wish it simple turn the toy over, dump the water out, and get down to business! I gave this a go with some hot water and my Gustavo ended up retaining heat at a fairly stabled temperature for about 20ish minutes or so… not bad! Of course your results may very, but over all, I would have to say this is a pretty neat feature of the Gustavo!
Size-wise, Gustavo ended up being a bit larger than I was imagining. Then again… this is nothing new. I am notoriously bad at visualizing a toy’s size, even when I have the measurements right in front of me… until I actually see the toy in person, with my own two eyeballs, I will always over or under estimate it’s size. Some may say I’m a bit mathematically challenged (like all of the math teachers I’ve ever had in school) but I prefer to think of it as being more mathematically… quirky. So, the My Fucsia Gustavo has a total length of 8.25 inches with 7.5 inches being it’s insertable length. The Gustavo is also 1.75 inches at its widest point. So, it is a longer dildo but not an uncomfortably girthy one (it actually sits right in my preferred girth range, so that’s awesome). The My Fucsia Gustavo is what I can best described as being torpedo shaped (at least that is the best descriptor that comes to mind… but there must be something more clever to compare it to… I’ll think about it…), having a tapered tip that narrows a bit near the base of the toy before flaring back out again. Speaking of flaring, I personally wouldn’t recommend this as an anal toy, I just don’t think that the base is flared out enough to be safe and it would make me nervous having it used anally, however I have read other reviews from bloggers who have used it anally and think the flare is enough… so I don’t know, I guess this is your call, but if you do it I am going to wring my hands like a nervous mother until I know you are okay. The shaft of toy is completely smooth and polished while around the head of the dildo is a fantastic bumpy, knobbly sort of texture that I think is extremely fun.
In use the My Fucsia Gustavo felt absolutely luxurious. As I said earlier, I tried the Gustavo out with hot water to heat the toy up. Having a warm toy is just divine… it’s like putting on pants that are fresh from the dryer… or sitting in a car with heated seats… only it’s for your vagina. It kind of makes me wish all sex toys were heated… (*wistful sigh*). The temperature play function gets an A+ and a thumbs up from me. Inserting Gustavo was pretty easy, the tapered tip helps it to slide right in. The majority of Gustavo’s girth happens immediately in the head, so there is very little “warm up” wiggle room… it goes from 0 to 60 in seconds flat (look at me trying to use car references like I have any idea what I’m talking about)… I guess what I am trying to say is that if you don’t like/aren’t used to wider toys you may or may not like the way the Gustavo is built. But you could always use another toy to warm up and stretch out. Personally, I have no issues… but I have used and abused my vagina to the point where it just accepts what I’m doing no questions asked (that sounds so terrible, I’m not that mean to my vagina, we are BFFs!). If you have been a reader of my blog for awhile now (which I hope you are… but, if you are new here I hope you stick around, I’m a barrel of laughs and a bucket full of anxiety) you will know that I am a big fan of a well textured toy. I love the feeling of a prominent texture sliding across my vaginal walls… and excuse me while I wipe the drool from my mouth…but I am getting wet just thinking about the texture on Gustavo. Those prominent bumps managed to massage against my g-spot in an extremely magical way. Also, because the toy is so rigid, it felt like I could feel each and every bump distinctly. Hot damn am I fan of those bumps. I only wish it covered more of the toy! That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy the smooth bits as well… I suppose it was actually kind of nice to have a little variation, to feel those bumps work their way in then give way to the slick smoothness of the shaft. Also, I was impressed with how little lube I had to use (not that this is really a thing we need to care about, use as much lube as you want) because of the nature of the glazed porcelain, the toy stayed pretty slick and smooth with just a small amount of lube and my own wetness. It’s also great that I can use whatever kind of lube I want or have within arms reach when I decide it’s time to masturbate (which right now is The Butters Lube, which I am really loving… it smells so yummy… I also use it as lotion…but this is something for another review…). Oh! Let me back up here for a second and address that awesome texture again… another thing that I really loved doing with the textured head was just rubbing it against my clit. I had a fantastic orgasm from just rubbing and rolling those textured bumps against my clit, it felt very manual and old school… like when I used to masturbate with the textured ribs of an old hairbrush.
Okay, so I know I mentioned having issues dropping and breaking my porcelain cat earlier, but I don’t want to give you the wrong idea… the My Fucsia is not nearly as delicate as that little kitty knick-knack! In fact, being the butterfingers that I am, I have already dropped my Gustavo not once… but TWICE since owning it and it has yet to shatter into bits. Sure… I bet it is possible to eventually break the poor thing, but as of yet it has held strong! The porcelain walls of the toy really look like they are quite thick and sturdy… I think it would take much more than normal use (and the occasional whoopsies) to damage it. According to SheVibe’s product page, the porcelain used in the My Fucsia Gustavo has been crystallized at 1280° Celsius and thus the product is not easily damaged… so that is good news (she says as if she knows anything about porcelain or pottery). Obviously, I would still use some care when using it… it is a handcrafted piece of art… be gentle with it and it should last you a long time! Also, should you drop it and notice that it has chipped or cracked, stop using it… at that point it has become more of an art piece and less of a sex toy.
Cleaning the My Fucsia Gustavo is super easy, even with that textured head. Wash the dildo with a gentle soap and some warm water… yep, it’s as easy as that. My Fucsia recommends that you should avoid boiling water with this one, and I would probably avoid the dishwasher with this toy, just stick to the soap and warm water. Also worth noting that the inside of the Gustavo is unglazed, which means once there is water in there, it takes forever to dry completely. This isn’t a huge deal, but just be aware of that when you are putting Gustavo away… if you are going to store it away some place wet, you have the potential to grow mildew (the inside of the toy is likely porous, due to it being unglazed). Just let it sit out and air dry for a bit before sealing it away anywhere.
There are just so many reasons to love the My Fucsia Gustavo. It has personality, it is quirky (is it a manic pixie dream girl?), the texture is fantastic, the quality is amazing, it is unique, the temperature play potential is super cool, it works with any sort of lube… I have absolutely no reason to not recommend it. Also, the price is not nearly as bad as I was imagining it to be… I really thought any kind of hand crafted type toy (especially one from mutha-truckin’ Italy) would carry with it an enormous price tag, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that SheVibe carries it for under $100! Porcelain is an awesome change from glass or metal, it’s fun to shake things up every once and awhile and I’m happy I got to try out my first porcelain toy! Although, if stiff, ridged toys aren’t your thing, you may wish to avoid the My Fucsia Gustavo, because there is absolutely no give to porcelain. Gustavo is a little less forgiving than silicon when you accidentally ram it against your cervix… I know this because I did this… and I had to take a masturbation time out while I re-thought my wild thrusting strategy… But over all, I think that the My Fucsia Gustavo is a fantastic toy and worth the purchase! And if you aren’t really into cartoon looking aliens being used a sex toys, don’t worry… My Fucsia still has got you covered with some sweet porcelain goodness! They carry a whole line of not alien dildos (including a really awesome one with skulls and butterflies…) that are equally as fantastic looking!
P.S. I am really disappointed that I didn’t make more alien jokes in this review… not once did I even say that this toy was “out of this world!” What’s wrong with me?
Would you like to bring home a Gustavo Porcelain Alien Dildo by My Fucsia of your very own? Gustavo is excited to meet you, it told me so! SheVibe has a direct line to the Gustavo alien mother ship and can have one beamed down for you in no time!
The Gustavo Porcelain Alien Dildo by My Fucsia was provided to me free of charge by SheVibe in exchange for my honest review.
