I can honestly say, I have never scrolled through my phone’s emoji list and thought to myself “man, if only I could fuck myself with that…” But apparently the creators of the Emojibator thought just that and have turned the horny sexter’s penis emoji of choice into a petite vibrating sex toy.
And you know, I hate to admit it, but you wouldn’t believe how long it took me to realize that the eggplant emoji was a stand in for a penis. I would come across people using “eggplant, peach, water droplets” all over Twitter, and I had no freaking clue what they were trying to say. I mean, I still use ASCII to text someone a dick – 8====D~ … does that make me old? Now I feel old.
But, as you may have figured out by now, I seem to have three favorite things…
- Food
- Masturbating
- Adorable things.
The Emojibator Eggplant ticks off all three of these things in one small package… it is adorable food that I can masturbate with. It is as if they crafted this with me in mind!
Measuring in at an adorable 4.84 inches long and 1.22 inches wide, the Emojibator is quite a bit smaller than your average garden variety eggplant. Also, unlike a real eggplant, the Emojibator is covered in a super velvety, deliciously touchable silicone. I currently have my Eggplant sitting in my desk drawer, I frequently pull it out and rub its little purple body like a worry stone. It’s quite soothing. (But remember, since it is made with silicone, keep silicone lube away from it!)
There are 10 vibration settings, which I find impressive for a battery powered toy. There are two intensity levels (a low and high, more or less) and eight vibration patterns. The Eggplant is operated by pushing down on its stem – the green nipple looking bit. You will have to cycle through all the settings before you can turn it off again, but the button is pretty responsive and easy to push, so it’s really not that big of a hassle.
The vibrations are pretty buzzy, which is something I have kind of come to expect from battery powered vibrators (although there are exceptions!). I almost want to call the Emojibator’s vibrations weak, but then there is a part of me that wants to blame my own clit for not responding to the Emojibator’s vibration, I am such a glutton for rumbly power, maybe I’m just not built to enjoy anything more subtle? If you are after mild to maybe moderate vibrations, the Eggplant will likely suit you just fine, but if you are like me, you will probably be left frustrated and grabbing for your Doxy to finish the job. I personally did not orgasm using the Eggplant, I tried. I tried and tried and tried, but the vibrations just weren’t penetrating deep enough to do anything for me. Bummer.
The Emojibator Eggplant can also function as a tiny dildo (however, it is not anal safe! Do not be that person who has to go to the E.R. with an Eggplant stuck up their butt!), although, when I insert it I can hear my vagina screaming “Hey?! Where’s the rest of it? Give it to me! Give it to me now!” and I’m all “Whoa, calm down V, you don’t always need to be stuffed like a sausage to feel satisfied.” My vagina and I have this argument a lot. Using it as a dildo, I’m not really hitting any of my “OH GOD YES” areas, but it is a fun little teaser, great for some light foreplay.
Do you dream of showering with an eggplant? You can! The Emojibator Eggplant features a 100% waterproof casing, making it suitable for tub and shower play… or maybe some garden hose play? This also makes cleanup easy, give it a good rinse with water or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution and you are good to go!
The Emojibator is pretty quiet when in use. Also, as far as sex toys go, this one is pretty discreet. There is nothing overtly sexual about a tiny Eggplant, you could probably even get away with displaying it proudly and when anyone asks about it, you can just let them know how much you adore eggplants (or aubergines, if you are in the UK).
So, do I recommend the Emojibator Eggplant Vibrator? Well, it could make the perfect gift for your favorite sexting buddy! It is playful and could be fun for bachelorette parties, or maybe your BFF just announced their switch to veganism and you want to help them remove all meat from their life…(wink, wink, nudge, nudge). But will the Eggplant replace my clitoral favorites? No, not as long as toys like my Tango and Mimi Soft have charge left in them. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate the Eggplant! I really appreciate that the Emojibator Eggplant is culturally relevant, super cute and quirky, but I’m not sure it has the timeless staying power of a more versatile vibrator. Also, I totally give the Emojibator Eggplant bonus points for its unconventionality, aesthetically, I love this thing! But if a strong clitoral vibe is what you are after, I suggest looking at something else, the Eggplant is better suited for those who like light to moderate surface level vibrations. So, if you are shopping around for something a bit cheeky, and good for a laugh, I can recommend it, the Emojibator is a fun toy with quality construction!
Ready to grab an Eggplant of your very own? They are available at Emojibator’s website or over at Good Vibes for $32.00! Or if you are in the mood for something a bit spicier, it looks like Emojibator now offers a vibrating Chili Pepper!
The Emojibator Eggplant was sent to me free of charge by Emojibator in exchange for my honest opinion.