This review is really a three for the price of one sort of deal, what a great value! When I told Lovehoney I was interested in reviewing the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator they said, okay… but we can do you one better! And lo and behold they sent me this awesome Luxury G-Spot Bundle! Included are a totally awesome storage/travel case, a heart shaped tin of Lovehoney Bliss Orgasm Balm, and of course, the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl.
Spoiled? Yes I am.
First, I want to talk about the storage case. It is amazing. For serious, I want like thirty more of these things to organize my toy collection and stack in my closet. The case isn’t quite what I’d call hard topped, but it isn’t super soft either… its like… squishy hard? Like it’s made from a strong foam maybe? It will keep it’s shape, unless you step on it (like I did) and squish it, mine is now a little bent out of shape, but still zips up and works perfectly.
The outside of the black travel case is branded with the Lovehoney heart, pretty discreet unless you are already familiar with their logo. The inside is lined in purple and contains a mesh zip pouch and a mesh pouch with elastic bands to hold your Greedy Girl (or any other toy you may decide to store inside). The Greedy Girl itself also comes with a Fifty Shades of Grey branded red drawstring storage bag of its own.
It also comes with a little heart shaped padlock, which is cute and may be handy for traveling or keeping prying eyes out of your box, but I’m terrible at remembering combinations (I stopped using my school locker all together in high school and carried all my shit around with me because I was sick of asking the school janitor to open my locker for me) so not something I really see myself using.
Second, the Bliss Pleasure Balm. It smells nice, like peppermint… or grandma. Did it make my clit feel more responsive or enhance my orgasm? I don’t know… it mostly felt like I spread toothpaste all over my clit, I smelled nice and tingled a bit, it was pleasant in a ‘I spread menthol all over my genitals’ sort of way. I did like feeling minty fresh in my pants. Beyond that, I don’t have a lot to say about the Pleasure Balm.
Now, on to the star of the show… the real meat and potatoes part of this review… the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator!
First, you should know that rabbit vibrators frustrate me very easily. Almost never do I find a toy where the ‘ears’ hit my clit in a pleasurable way. For me, using a rabbit is usually having to make a decision on whether I want to sacrifice using the full length of the insertable part in order to get the rabbit ears to line up right, or would I rather feel the fullness I like while letting the ears slap around uselessly. Knowing this, you are probably wondering why I wanted to even review a rabbit vibe in the first place… well the answer is… I am bound and determined to find a damn rabbit that works for me (and hopefully you, but lets face it, I’m pretty selfish)! The idea of a rabbit vibrator is very appealing to me, a dildo and an external vibe all in one package? Yes please! I’m frequently pretty lazy so the less toys I need to use at one time, the better!
So, when I agreed to review the Greedy Girl, I did so with a bit of trepidation. I figured I was for sure setting myself up for disappointment and was dreading having to write a less than stellar review.
Right away, aesthetically, I loved the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator straight out of the box. It looks solidly built, kind of chunky with a hefty base that lets the Greedy Girl stand up beautifully on its own, which you may not care about, but I love being able to stand toys up on my desk and admire them while I write. The body of the toy is covered in a velvety soft, pure black silicone which makes this vibrator look classy as fuck. The shaft of the toy has a dramatic curve that is perfectly suited for hitting the G-Spot. The shiny silver band and buttons are also a pretty nice touch. Overall, a beautifully crafted vibrator. I’m not all that surprised though, the previous items I reviewed in the Fifty Shades of Grey Official Pleasure Collection (the Perfect O Love Ring and the Holy Cow! Vibrating Wand) were also very well made, so quality is something I’ve come to expect from this line of toys.
The Greedy Girl did not arrived charged up (I hate that, I’m not a patient person!), so I had some waiting to do before I was able to test it out. The Greedy Girl is rechargeable, using the included USB cable. A wall plug is not included, but if you’ve got a computer handy, you have a sex toy charging station! The cable plugs into a port on the back, which is covered by a silicone flap. Once the light turns from red to green, your vibrator is fully charged up and ready to go. I’m guessing I got about 90 (give or take) minutes of play time in before needing to plug my toy back in for another recharge, so not bad!
The Greedy Girl looks big, measuring in at a whopping 9.5 inches, but don’t panic, only about 5ish inches of it are actually insertable, so I find it to be a a completely manageable toy size wise. The shaft of the toy is pretty flexible, it actually feels like it may possibly be hollow in places, but the head of the vibrator is pretty hard, not a lot of give to it.
When I finally got around to using the Greedy Girl I turned it on and flipped through the settings, I was struck by just how many settings there actually were. I counted 12 patterns in total, at first I thought that was overkill, because I never use patterns. I usually set my vibrator to the highest, steady speed possible and leave it at that. But, once the toy was inserted I quickly changed my mind… things got even more exciting when I looked down and said “hey, what does this second button do?” HOLY FUCK WHAT?!? This toy has not one but TWO FREAKIN’ MOTORS! I am able to control the rabbit ears independently of the main insertable vibrator bit! Both of these motors are powerful, I’m telling you, I was not expecting this. I laid in bed moaning as I tried out each setting. I think this is the one of the very few vibrators where I actually prefer the vibrational patterns to the straight up constant speed. The pulsating patterns are so thuddy and rumbly that I honestly feel a little bit sore after using the Greedy Girl as much as I have in the last couple of days.
The thick rabbit ears manage to hit my clit just right without a whole lot of fiddling about looking for the right position. The rabbit itself has three speed settings, and I find myself using the medium speed for the most part, the top end speed gets a little too buzzy for my tastes, but I really don’t find myself wishing for much more power when I have both the motors going.
While in use, I found I was unable to do any real thrusting or moving of this toy, it seems like once I have the head against my G-spot and all the vibrations going, my vagina clamps down on this sucker and does not let go. Which is fine, I’m a lazy masturbator usually, the less I have to be involved, the better.
I went to bed after giving the Greedy Girl it’s first quick test and the next morning it was still on my mind, using it again was all I could think about as I was waking up. I still am a bit floored by how fast this toy can bring me to an orgasm! Holy cow, so unexpected.
Operating the Greedy Girl is pretty simple (although the button placement is a tad on the awkward side when the toy is in use, I had to fumble a bit to change my settings mid-use), there is a small circular button that operates the rabbit ears and like I mentioned there are three speed settings. The larger button controls the main body, there are three steady vibration speeds and nine vibration patterns (giving me waaaaaay to many things to choose from!). To turn off or on, just hold down the buttons.
Sometimes a toy comes out of nowhere an exceeds your expectations. The Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator caught me completely off-guard, I really did not expect it to be as powerful as it is. So my recommendation is a resounding YES, BUY IT! If you are looking for a rabbit, give this one a try. I am super picky and hate most rabbits, but I really love this one, so maybe you will too! If you are not a power queen, you should be warned that the vibration patterns all pulse at the highest intensity, so if you prefer something more gentle, you wont find it with any of the patterns. The head is also pretty hard, and I think it may have caused me a little bruising (I also probably played pretty rough with the Greedy Girl in the name of research), so that is something to be aware of. But over all, this is a solid rabbit vibrator and has earned itself a regular spot in my sex toy rotation.
Ready to buy? You can pick up the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Luxury G-Spot Bundle from Lovehoney for $100.00! Rather shop a la carte? The Bliss Pleasure Balm can be had for $14.99, the FsoG Greedy Girl for $89.99, and the Lockable Sex Toy Case (large) for $34.99. Even if all you want is the vibrator and the storage case, you are still saving a fair amount of money by buying the bundle.
The Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator was provided to me free of charge by Lovehoney in exchange for my honest review.